Monday, September 29, 2014

The rushed decision .. Part28






Me: aloo

Me: ALOO!! Bandar tesma3ni??

*6ou6 6ou6 6ou6*

Me: haw!!

I tried to call him back but he didn't answer..

*endless broken hearts*

I went back to Hamad..

Hamad: kel ma ran telephonech edesheen el 7mam? Ghareeeba!

Me: seriously? Akeed la!! 9edfa ran mobily bel wagt elly I need to go to bathroom!

Hamad: ahha!

Me: 7amad?

Hamad: hala

Me: mu ga3ed etakhayyal ely kent t7ebha bhal la7tha? Ma temanait enha tkoun ga3da hny mukany?

He raised his eyebrows: men 9ejech wallah?

I nodded: ely kan bainkum 7ub! 7ub 5 sneen

Hamad: lel marra el malyon agolech ana ma taqadamt lech ella lamma mesa7t'ha men baly ou galbe ou tafkeeery!! Rana ana 3ndy khawat ou afaker feehum musta7eel afaker atherech aw athlemech!!

I froze in my thoughts..

Hamad: entay ga3da etakhayelainy ely t7ebbenah?

I stared at him for seconds and said: la!

Hamad: entay laish khayfa?

Me: akhaf? Min shinu?

Hamad: madry a7esech metraddeda ou khayfa etezawejainy! Mu wathqa feeny yemkin!

Me: atraddad? Laish? Elray mu raye ou elshor mu eb eedy!

And all of a sudden mimi came..

Mimi: hi shlonek 7amaad??

Hamad: hala wallah, el7emdellah tamam!!

Me: hathy maryam ekhty

Hamad: welne3em

Mimi: yn3am b7alek!! Jahzeen tanzelon?

Me and hamad: eeh!

Mimi: okk el ghneya elly 3ugub ely 3ugub hathy nezlaw!!

Me: ok!

A7es mabe anzel ou elnas kelha tshoufny ma3a 7amaad!!

Mabe eeda tamsek eedy!!

Ou yg3ad yammy ou elnas tbarrk lena!!

Weddy luw kent ga3da a7lem nafs thakelyoum!! 

Hamad: zaina nasfety?

Me: eeh!

Hamad: akeed?

Me: ee mafeha shay

Hamad smiled: 7eta entay sha3rech zain!

Me: ha?

He stretched his hand: yallah

Me: wee wain maskety!!

Hamad: shinu??

Me: my flower bouquet!!!

Hamad: mu hatha ely hnak?

Me: ee ashwa!!

I grabbed my hand bouquet and walked to the stairs..

Hamad stretched his hand and grabbed mine..

I jumped in my place..

Hamad: ma tyoon ela bel3ain el7amra

My eyes popped out and he burst into laughter: atghashmaaar

I smiled..



"Alf mabrouuuk"

"A7la 3arouus" 

"Kalba tshawgeeen"

"Allah yhaneeech wewafgech"

"Allah yes3edech"

I was surrounded by love feelings from everywhere..

From my mom, friends and family..

From Hamad, his mom and sisters..

But I wasnt happy though..

Its really hard when you get attach to someone you actually love and suddely you lose him!!

You lose his love, his care, you lose him being around you!!

And what makes things really harder is that he is still alive!!

He didn't die and his love either!!

Getting married to someone you don't love isnt bad!!

The bad thing is when you get married to someone his space in your heart is already taken by someone else!!

...

I wore those..















And went to bandar's car..

Me: hi, 3asa ma 6awwalt?

Hamad: zara3teeny!!

Me: la a9lan 7addy ma 6awwalt fe9akht my red gown ou lebast hatha ou shoes thany ou ghayart el6aqem!! My makeup and hair nafs'hum

Hamad: el7emdellah enna deshdashty multi task

I smiled: the only advantage of being a guy haha

Hamad: kellna advantages a9lan

Me: walla ohwa ye3temed 3alrayyal 

Hamad: mathalan luw ana? Kelly mumayezat 9a7?

Me: latemda7 3umrek

Hamad: tetwaqe3ain wain bawadeech?

Me: goully ba3aad mala da3y atwaqa3

Hamad: getlech mu bal3atny!!

Me: shakuu!!

Hamad: bawadeech regency

Me: nice!!

We went their, hamad asked them for the table he reserved..

We sat down..

Hamad: shtakleen?

Me: ayshay

Hamad: umm ma 3endehum hal6abaq haha

I faked a smile: baroo7 el7ammam

Hamad: enzain a6leb lech pasta? Takleen? Wella steak?

Me: Pasta zain!

I went to the bathroom to send Bandar a text message..

"Bandar laish dag? Shinu kent betgool??"

I sent the message above and went back to hamad..

Hamad: 6alabt pasta b9al9at el6uma6 ou wa7da 9al9a baitha ou steak ou deyay mashwy ma3a bu6a6 ou fries

Me: ollaaaah!!! This is too much shda3wa!!

Hamad: shfeech 7abebty ana ely badfa3!!

Me: mu salfat daf3 bs shhal shefa7a!!

Hamad: rana khala9 6alabt ou khalla9t nakel elly nabe ou ely ma nabeeh ma nakla!!!

Awal marra ykalemny bhal nabra!

7asaita tanarfaz menny!!

Me: ok!!

Hamad: rana mat7eseen ena wath3na mu wath3 athnain tawhum malcheen?

Me: la 3ady!

Hamad: ya3ni men sheftech ou shefteeny ma gelna 7g ba3ath kelmat a7ebech/k ma ghazalna ba3ath!!

Me: 7elu el7ayat tebda bedoun nefaq!!

Hamad: ya3ni entay ma t7ebeeny?

Me: la! Bs ham ma akrehek!! I dont have any feeling toward youu!! 

Hamad: enzain ana shinu bel nesba lech?

Me: my future husband and I dont want my future to become!!

He froze in his place..

Me: shfeek!! 

Hamad: mafeeny shay bs estaghrabt!! Awwal marra a7es bel naq9!!

Me: naq9?

Hamad: ya3ni makent metkhayal eny fee bent ma etemanna t3eesh ma3ay!!

I giggled sarcastically: and why?

The waiter brought our dishes..

Hamad: thank you! Ayshay ya3jebech meddy eedech 3alaih

Me: enzain laish?

Hamad: madry ya3ni mu nage9ny shay!! 3ndy khair ou shakly zain ou nafsy khafeefa!!

Me: ou tetwaqa3 hatha kelshay?? Hamad Our hearts should meet before we do!! 

Hamad: entay lail7een etekalemain bhal mawathee3? Ana shelt fekrat el7ub min rasy ou bedait afaker bel esteqraar!!

Me: el7ub esteqrar!!

Hamad: etha tabeen 7ub ana ma3ndy mane3 bs 3a6eeny fer9a!! Enty msakrat'ha eb wayhe mata36eeny wayh muleyya!!

Me: 7amad why did you choose me? Laish ana bethat??

Hamad: la'anech awal wa7da jthebatny 3ugub mafakkart a3eesh 7ayatee 3ugub 9eba

Me: ou etha jthebtek wa7da al7een?

Hamad: mara7 a6ale3 ghairech l'any lamma fakkart belzawaj fakart bel esteqrar

Me: shinu ely jthebek feeny? You didn't meet me even!!

Hamad: shaklech 7ayatech ehtemamatech

Me: shakly? wow! Allah ybashrek belkhair!!

Hamad: 3ainy mu lazem t7eb? Lazem akhth jaikara 3ashan tgoloun eny a7eb?

Me: enzain how did you know about my life ou interests?

Hamad: instagram

Me: oh my god! Instagram is the biggest lie on earth!!! Everyone would like to look beautiful pictures!!!

Hamad: rana?

Me: na3am!

Hamad: mat7eseen enna its too late for these questions? E7na al7een malcheen ou baina 3aqd zawaj!! Lets act like a married couples mestanseen ou e7eboon ba3ath!!

Me: enge9 3ala 3umerna??

Hamad: laish la? Fake it until you make it!!!

Me: 7amad?

Hamad: amray!!

Me: ma wedek elly jedamek al7een tkoun 9eba? Ma temanait esemha yenketeb yam esmek eb 3aqd elzawaj?

Hamad froze in his thoughts for seconds and then replied: tsk!!

Me: latge9 3alay!!

Hamad: rana ana tejawazt halmar7ala ou elbent ba3atny gabel la abee3ha khalaa9 I got over her!!

Me: ahaalha eq9ebooha!!!

Hamad: mabe atkallam btefa9eel bs elbent tezawejat ou 3ashat 7ayat'ha many malzoum adfen 7ayatee 3ugubha!!

Ya3ni shinu??

Shloun!!! Bandar be3eesh 7ayata min ba3dy? Betezawaj we7eb ghairy? Wallah ma ysaweeha!!!

...

7ayatee 9arat thaaaim..

Kelyoum abadel ou akshakh ou a6la3 ma3a shakh9 ma abeeh wala atkhayela shareek 7ayatee!!!

Elmujamala 9arat routine belnesba ley!!

Kenna ana ou 7amad be3youn el kel "cuuute"..

Kelhum kanaw ethennon enna khathaina ba3ath 3n 7ub!! 

Elly a3arfa welly ma3arfa ybarekly webarek 7g 7amad eb instagram..

Ou 9erna 3ala lsan elkel..

Kent anqeher lamma asma3 a7ad egoul "yaaalla erzegna" wellah "shoufaay hathy elshabab elsan3a" weddy ared agooulehum elwaaqe3!!!

Kel ely bainy ou bain 7amad mujamalah 7etta 9adaqa ma we9alna!!

Shay ebachy.. Marrat weddy esawelly shay muzain 3ashan ekoun 3ndy 3ether 3nd obouy bs ma3a el asaf he's treating me really well!!!

Ou bandar? En6efa thekra!!

Min hathak elyoum ma dag mara thanya!!

Ou lamma adeg 3alaih mayred!!

Lain ya'ast mennah.. Ou min 7ubah ou gurbah!!

3aysha 3ala elthekra..

...

Me: la jaad ga3d tmaattenny

Hamad: shamatnech kelshay ana akla wenty bs tnagnegeenn

Me: ya3ni min malachna we7na manrou7 ela ma6a3em!!

Hamad: 3ashan eta'adebain ou t7adedeen maw3ed el3ers

Me: elsalfa mu salfat esem!! Kho kelyoum ga3da ashoofek laish meshta6 3al3ers!!

Hamad giggled: ABE YAHHAL YAHHALL

Me: way yumma!! Tra ana mu mfakra byahhaal

Hamad: allah y3eeny 6ala3 yomech 3n sena

Me: jaaad shway shway 3alay!!

Hamad: damech merta7a ana merta7 ou ba9ber

Me: et9addeg? Ma 3a6any ella rabby wela shtaby feeeny de3laa!!

Hamad: legait bek 3umry ely tha3 ou legait ana feek el aman ou luw beyaddy ya 7abeby kan a3arfek minzeman!! Walla rana min asma3ha athakerech ou agoul 9ej elkheera fe ma ekhtar allah!! 

I smiled: i really can't understand you

Hamad: sem3aay ellaila shinu 3ndech??

Me: ma3ndy shay!!

Hamad: fathy rou7ech ou keshkhay elsa3a 7 bamerech

Me: 3ala wain??

Hamad: awal shay benrou7 ma63am wa7ed min elrabe3 mnadeena 3al efteta7 ou ba3dain bait 3ammy msaween 3azeema kbeera ou galoully ayeebech

Me: la fashlaa

Hamad: 3afyaa ranaa!! Mara7 ahedech 6oul el3azeema!!

I smiled: ok enshallah!!

He smiled back..

...

Shalbes shalbes..

Hathy awal marra beshoufouny feeha lazem ykoon shakly yshaaweg!!

Ummm..

Then I chose those..

...

Hamad: lazem anzere3 cham degeega madry laish

Me shyly: shasawy ent teye bser3aa!!

Hamad: enzain sem3aay!!

Me: haa

Hamad: esh halzain? Gouleelly shhal zainnn??

I blushed: merci!

Hamad: min 9ejech kelyom betemeen chethy?? Ga3da tshab3een 3youni 3n ghairech

Me: enzain el event 3am?

Hamad: 3azem rab3ah ou rab3ech el bloggers!!

Me: ma 3azaaamny!!

Hamad giggled: ymkin dara enech merty!! M3aqedeen rab3y 3ady!!

Me: hahha shinu ma63ema?

Hamad: madry 3annah bs akla zain

Me: khoshh

Hamad: 3ad 9awray ou saweela da3aya yestahel

Me: enshallah!!

...

Hamad: yalla we9alna

I raised my head to see the place..

My heart skipped a beat..

Me in a shaking voice: the real food????

Hamad: eeh hatha fer3hum elyedeed

My heart's beats accelerated..

Me: shakla za7ma ban6erek bel sayaraa

Hamad: entay shaku belza7ma!! Yayya ma3ay!

Me: adry bs ham chabdy gaamat tagleb ban6erek!!

Hamad: afa2!! Awadeech el6abeeb yuba?

Me: la la mu laihadaraja!!

Hamad: tara etha menty nazla enred!!

Me: la 7amad enzel refeejek me7tajek bhal youm!!

Hamad: enty aham!!

"Hala feek, ee yuba ekheth ellafa elyayya yemeen ou 3ugub kamel seeda eyyeek duwwr..."

Hamad turned around: ohh kahu!! Fashla basalem 3alaih 3alaqal!

Me: madry madry saw ely tabeeh!!

Hamad went out..

Bandar: haaalaaa 7maidd!! Kaif 7alek??

Hamad: hala wallah!! Bkhaair el7emdellah! Shloun elwath3?

Bandar: kelshay tamaam

Hamad: yalla ana basta'thenek

Bandar: testa3be6?

Hamad: wallah merty t3ebat ou benred!!

Bandar froze in his thoughts: mertek?

Hamad danna 3n eljama: ranaa hatha 9a7by el owner, tabe tbarek lek

He winked for me..

I froze in my place the moment i saw him..

And my heart started to beat so fast..

Me: ma mabrook

Bandar's eyes met mine..

And his stares brought all the memories back..

My eyes started to tear..

Bandar: lazem tanzeleen

Saturday, September 20, 2014

The rushed decision .. Part27



"Rana you are adorable!!

You are the best thing happened to me in my whole life!!

Your heart is my place, your voice is my best music, your hug is my warm blanket, your smile is my motivation, and your eyes are the reason behind my real smile.

I love you.. If the word could describe how much I love you!!

I never thought of writing a letter, a love letter to a girl, but surprisingly I am..

You changed me a lot..

I dont know if you changed me in a good or bad way but all I know that you have changed my whole system to be in your side, to Love you.. A true love!

Rana.. Thinking made me awake the whole night and I couldnt sleep, I really don't know how to tell you this but الله يسهل دربج!

I really dont want to let you go but I just have to!!

Im sorry but this is farewell!!

I can't say it to your face, I can't watch you going away from me, so i wrote this letter to say good bye or maybe bye..

Bye Rana,

الله يحفظج و يسعدج وين ما كنتي.."

I couldnt stop staring at the letter..

I actually couldnt believe what I just read!!

Did he say farewell?????

I rested my thighs on the closest chair..

I kept on re-reading his letter over and over!!!!!

Farewell was expected but not that way!!!

And not after 3 days of a deep love story!!!

I locked my bags and went to his room..

*knock knock knock knock knock knock....*

GODDD!! Where did he go!!!!

I rushed to the reception..

Me: hi

The man: bonjourno

Me: Did the person in room 412 leave?

The man: ummm yes because his key is here

I took a deep breath and replied: ok!!

Wain mumkin ekoun?? Adry enna men7ash minny because he finished his work already!!

Ymkin ra7 3nd el river??

He loves that place a lot!!

Yarab algaaah!!!

I left my key and ran to the river!!

Wallah I was running!!!

Everyone was staring at me but who cares???

We9alt elmukan ou gemt atlaffat yemeen ou yesar nafs elbent elthay3aaa adawrah!!

I was about to scream "BANDAR" but el7emdellah I found him standing right in front of me..

My heart skipped a beat..

I took few steps toward him..

Me: can I ask you why??

He jumped in his place and his eyes popped out..

Bandar: shyaybech hnyyy!!! 6ayartech 3ugub sa3tain!!

Me: i read your letter but I didnt get it!!!! Why do you have to leave me???? 

Bandar: gelt'ha wayed!!

Me: 3ashan you mama??? Kalamek e7asesny enny aham shay b7ayatek aw 3alaqal ana ou omek nafs el ahameya!! Bs af3alek tgool el3aks!!!

Bandar: RANA!!! Ana ma asawy ghair ely agoula wala agoul ghair elly asaweeh!!! Enty 3youni lemrakkeba ou ommy netharha!!!! Elsalfa mu chethy!!! Entay mendaf3a wara galbech bshakel khayaaly!! Ana magdar astaghny 3n 3agly! Wala agdar atekheth qarar nafs halqarar bedoun ma asta3mel 3agly!!! Rana lenafreth enny 6e3tech ou tezawajna? Ana lazem ared eldeera ajabel sheghly!! Ou entay etha ga3adtay hny aw eb dubai nafs matgoleen 7asbalech obouch mayegdar edel mukanech??? Ou en dal mukanech shbesawy feech?? Allah a3lam!! Ana abeeech bs bnafs elwagt abeech t3eesheen 3eesha mu7tarama abeech t3esheen mestansa ou balech merta7!! Mu ten7ashain min deera lay deera brou7ech!! Rana I care!!!

And all of a sudden all my tears went out..

I couldnt stop crying!!

He pulled me closer to his chest and hugged me tight..

Bandar: bs rana bs la tabcheen!!!

Me: bandaaar *sniff* abeeeek *sniff*

I can feel his body shaking!!

Bandar was crying and running his hand along my back..

Me: pleaaase say something *sniff*

He swallowed his tears and said: 6ayyartech .. Lat6eer

I pulled myself away from him.. 

Me: KHAL 6AYARTY 3ANNEK OU 7E6 3AINK B3AINY!!!

His scenery was heart breaking!!

His eyes were red and teary..

Bandar: rana magdar wallahh!!

He turned around and his body started to shake..

I froze in my place for seconds and Left..

I couldnt watch him breaking in front if my eyes!!!

And that was the end!!!

كـل أمـر سهـل مـن دون الـوداع كيـف أنــا بــا ودعــك بعد ما قـد شـاع لـك حبـي وذاع بالحشـى مستودعـك
فـــــي إلـــــك أحــلـــى مــكــانــه هالله هالله بــالأمــانــة يــــــــوم أمــنـــتـــك بــقــلــبــي هالله هالله بـــالأمـــانـــة
...

Hamad: bthemetech ely sawaiteeh mu 3aib?

Me: laish!!

Hamad: safray kaifech bs 3a6eeny khabar! Enga9 wayhe raye7 baitkum egouloully msafra ou ana akher man ya3lam!!

Me: kelshay 9ar bser3a!

Hamad: 7a9al khair bs lat3eedeenha

Me: enshallah

Hamad: 3asa ma shar?

Me: ma shar!

Hamad: mu 3ajbatny!

Me: mu lazem

He giggled: enzain meste3eda 7g bacher!!

Me: bacher?

Hamad: elmelcha yuba!

Me: la!! Lansaweha bacher!

Hamad: wayed met'akher kalamech!

Me: shyabellah kho!

Hamad: etefaqna ma3a kelshay ou 3azamna el awadem 3iab!

Me: ah kaifkum! Ana men elbedaya raye ma7gour

Hamad: afa!

Me: its ok a9lan magam ehemny shay!

Hamad: shfeech chethy 6aqa salbeyya tetkallam!!

Me: ma3alaih 6aqty ma3a 6aqtek el eejabeya tetwazan!

He smiled: allah yfarej hamech

I smiled and whispered: ameen!

...

Mom: warreeny el bedal ely sharaiteehum!

Me: sharait dress wa7ed ou makeup 7g mimi ou 7agech ou 7g dania!

Mom: bs?

Me: eeh!

Mom: ya7asrety 3ayal shinu btalbeseeen bacher!!! 

Me: madry ayshay!!

Mom: estakhafaitay?? Goumy badlay khaneshtereelech shay!!

Me: enty shtereelly!

Mom: may9eeer ya mamaa!!! Ana metafqa 3al akel ou el dj ou elkosha ou elward ou el7elu ou 3azma refeejatech bs bagy atzawaj bedalech!!

Me: getlekum khaaan'ajelha mu ratheeeen ta7amelaw effff!!!!

I left her and went to my room..

Dania men el9eb7 wehya tdagdeg!!

Me: haaa dania!!!

Dania: shesalfaaa!!

Me: you know everything!!

Dania: adry enech re7teellabou adry enna radech bs shlounnn!!

Me: mumkin ma netkallam 3n halmawthou3!!!

Dania: ok! Enzain bacher astanes lech wella az3al lech wella shasawy!!

Me: DANIAAA!!! Yal faathya okkkk!!!

I closed the line!!!

...

A7es enny fegadt kelshay!!

Fegadt lathat hal denya!!

Elyoum melchety wana mafeeny shu3our!!

Marrat afakker at9anna3 elfara7 bs elfara7 9ar mu layeg 3alay!!

Ensadat kel elbeeban bwayhe!!

Ou eldenya eswaddat!!

A7es enny 9ert nafs el barbie!!

Shakel bedoun rou7!! 

E7arkouny ou elabsouny 3ala kaifhum ou ana maly ella enny a6ee3hum!!

Ma7ad yabe ejarreb ely 3eshta!!

...

I wore those..




Tied my hair in a low messy bun and applied some makeup..

Mimi: wooow you look simply BEAUTIFUL!!

Me: thankyou!!

Mimi: el7ub we9aal

7ubb?? El7ub maretha ya7thrr melchety wana mu lah!!

El7ub eb Italy..

Me: ok!!

I went down stairs to see Hamad's waiting for me in our living room..

Hamad: esh halzaaain

I smiled: teslam

I sat down..

Hamad: shlounech elyoum?

Me: nafs ams ou bacher ou elsena elyaya ou kelyoum

Hamad: walla la anasseech elza3al

I froze in my thoughts..

Kel hally sawaita feeh ou ygoully chethy??

Ma3qoula aku nas ghair bandar galbha abyath chethy??

Hamad: weddech nakshet feehum?

Me: minu ohma?

Hamad: ely ta7aat elma3azeem!!

Me: ee ok haha

Hamad: kelesh mu bal3atny!!

I giggled: la 7aram

And all of a sudden my mobile rang..

OMG ITS BANDAR!!!!!

Me: degegaa!!

I took my mobile and ran to the bathroom..

I picked it up: aloo!!