Sunday, October 30, 2011


I was S T R U C K if that word can describe my shock!

I checked the number over 6 times!!!

It was his number! Rakan’s number!!!

What happened to him?


He might be joking? Of course he was!!!

I tried to call him to ask him what was wrong with him?? And what the hell was the message he sent 

He didn’t answer!!

I called him again and again but NO ANSWER!!!

AKHHH!!! Is he planning to kill me by that ignorance or what???

My eyes won’t tear! I was still under the shock!

And all of a sudden I received an SMS from him ..


“Don’t even try to call me again!! What do you want from me ha!? Ou chenna I told you to delete my 
number not to call me 100 times!”

That was so rude!!

Ya zeft efham I love you!!!

I sent him back:

“Rakan shfeek?”

He ignored my message!

I tried to call him and he ignored my calls too!

And now I am crying ..

There was a river of tears on my cheeks and about million question marks on my head ..


Why??? What happened?? ..

Yesterday we were such a lovely love birds, yesterday I was a princess and he was my handsome man 
but now he is turning to a handsome devil!!

It was hard to believe ..

My mind was stopped! I couldn’t think anymore!!

I was just crying until I fell asleep ..

Life is little bit hard but “enna ma3a el3usre yusra” make the hard become easier ..

That was my day ..

That was my bad day ..

Its Tuesday ..

I woke up at 10:00 am and I was too late!! I went to the bathroom change my cloths and ran to my car ..

I started my day with a big hope that Allah will bless me soon ..

Remembering ayat “enna ma3a el3usre yusra” make me smile against my will ..

I arrived to the college late ..

I ran to my class ou el7emdellah the Dr. dakhalny ..

I sat next to raghad ..

Me whispering: el7emdella dakhalny mu 3awayda

Raghad: 7adda yabakhtech

Suddenly a light was glowing on my head!

My mind was telling me “of course she is, raghad maku ghairha!! She’s the only one who was so jealous 
from me! She is the only one who loved rakan with me! She is the only “neshba” belkwait!”

My eyes turned to fire and a reek was coming out from my ears ..

Me nervously: RAGHAAD!

Raghad surprised: shfeech?

Me: al7en 6el3ay jedamy ou al7egech!!

Raghad: haw laishh?

Me: la tnachfeen yalla jedamy!!!

Raghad: ou el lecture

Me: en ma 6ala3tay walla asawi shay ma tabenaa!

Raghad: besmella gmasha shfeechh? Hadday

Me: 6el3ay!!

Raghad: mabe a6la3 haw!

Me: met’akda???

Raghad: eee!

Chan agre9 raghad 3ala her thigh 7ail!

Raghad screamed loudly!

The dr.: what happened? Minu 9arrakh??

Me: she did

Raghad: la’anech gara9teny!

The dr.: how shame on both of you yahhal entaw? Yalla out lamma tekberoun come to attend my class!

Me happily: ok

Raghad whispered: khara 3alaich!

We both went out from the class ..

Raghad: entay 7maraaa???

Me: shoufay raghad! Mu entay elly tkharben bainy ou bain rakan fahma??

Raghad: gmasha! Ana mali sheghel entay eb nafsech elly tanazaltay ou geltay enna ley ba3dain ohwa 
lail7en mu rathy ya36eny wayh 7etta kalam mu ma36eny fur9a akalma!

Me: raghad men elakher entay shgaylatla 3annyy????

Raghad: getlech ma kallamta ma kallamta kellesh shloun tabeny akalme 3anech ou 7etta luw kallamta 
ana maynouna athakra feech yanaitaay??

That make sense! La’anna I didn’t tell her enna ana abee ou she didn’t saw us together 3ugub hathak 

Me: ya3ni ma shawahty sum3ety jedama????

Raghad: maku sheghel? Ana khal a7a9la awwal!! La7tha shesalfaa? Ay sum3a elmetshawha? Ou entay 
shaku feh??

Shakla mu ehyaa! Waaih al7en sharagge3?

Me: madry 3anna bs ewazze3 eb hanathrat 7aggy!

Raghad: waaaay! 7asbaly 3endech salfa m6al3atna men leclass 3ashan chethy 9ij ma teste7en ou by the 
way 9ayra savage tkhar3een!

Me: ok

I turned and walk away from Raghad ..

Ufff shfeeh yarabbi sh9aaar! Walla enny san3a ma a3aref elghala6!!

I decided to search on Rakan and to talk face to face with him!

I searched everywhere in the circle , starbucks , the garden, the classes and every single place in the 
collage !!

I gave up!! I saw a chair to sit on !

I drank a bottle of water!

Until the scent of an Abercrombie and Fitch cologne wavered under my nose!

I raised my head and sniffed it deeply ..

I turned my face to the right side and I saw him ..

My heart skipped a beat!

I followed him immediately without calling him!

I kept on following him silently until he arrived to his car ..

Me: rakan

Rakan surprised and gave me that scorn-amazing gaze and entered his car ..

You think I’m going to knock your window and pleading you or something? No darling I will not! 
believe me I’m not that type of girls! I didn’t do anything wrong  to be sorry about..

He should talk to me he should know the truth from me and not to listen to a nonsense things from a 
jealous girl atwaqa3!!

I decided to skip all my next classes and left to home ..

Rakan disappointed me!!

I gave him love , I gave him trust , I gave him me!! But he didn’t appreciate that!

Please Rakan return my love back to me please Rakan I can’t stop loving you seriously I can’t!!!!

On my way to my car ..

Fay: 7aram 3alaich you become so skinny!!!!

Mu nage9ny ella entay 3ashan yakmel youmy!!!

Me: 9ij shukran!

Fay: wa mena el7ub ma tha33af!

Me: ok

Fay: lemtan ma yenfa3 ma3ahum ella el7ub 3ashan yeth3efoun ou ehedoun marag 3adas shwayya

Calm down gmasha calm down la tet’hawerain!!!

Me: fay thelfay wakhry 3any karahtech t3arfeen shinu karahtech mlaw3a chabdi mabe ashoufech!!!

And all of a sudden Reema came ..

Reema: shinu shessalfa minu elly ga3d eqeth gamousha????

Fay: 7aram 3alaich khawafteeny babchy banchy!! Ana sh3endech??

Reema: ma 3endi shay bs ma3rouf elqatheeth kella eqeth 3araftay?

GO REEMAA EDDEELU!!! Awwal marra ta3jebny reema:D ..

Fay: ohooo 3add na6aaq entaay haay tra gmasha mu murtech fa please khuffy 3alaina 7aram 3alaich

Kent nawya asakket fay bas 7asait Reema lazem tesma3 hal jumlaa ..

Reema: chaab la tyeeben esemha 3ala lsanech fahma?

Fay: ashouf 6alat ou shamakhat?? By the way still qazma don’t take it seriously

Reema: el7emdella weshekerr!

Me: lazem arou7 ta’akhart

Fay: laish 7abeeb elgalb yan6erech??

Reema: e7tarmy nafsechhh!! Hathy suwalfech brou7ech!

Ooooops!! Staghferuallah el3atheem!

Fay: maskeena entay khalech ma tadren wain alla ga6ech takseren elkha6er!

Reema turned her face to me ..

Fay Shabbat ethaw ou thlefat!!

Me: ra7 t9adgeenha?

Reema: never

Wainek ya rakan luw teyye eta3allam men reema!!

Me: a7ebech

Reema: ana akthaar!!

I left her and went back home ..

The days are passing ..

My life completely changed ..

I am losing weight more and more ..

I didn’t have an appetite ..

I am losing the hope slowly ..

I became a close friend to my tears ..

My mom didn’t talk to me about him maybe because she don’t want to pain me ..

Every day his amazing audio make me cry because someday I believed his lies ..

“kony men ghairech musta7eel” every time I hear that sentence I feel like HUH!!

temannaitek ma3y tuwasy madma3y hagaitek ma tkhalleny a3ani laken youm re7t ba3dek ana 
the3t ta3al erja3 ana hammy thananyy

One day I was laying on my bed and crying “as always” ..

Suddenly my mobile rang ..

It was unknown number ..

So I ignored it ..

The number kept on calling me again and again!!

I became nervous!! Sakkarta eb wayhaa!

Once , twice , la ya’s ma3a al7ayat wala 7ayat ma3a elya’s!!!

I picked it up!


………: gmashaa!!

She know my name!

I calmed down ..

Me: minu???

……….: ana thurayyaa! Ekhet rakan, ur ex shesma!

Sunday, October 23, 2011


ana fee entethaar ya 7abebyy ..

And suddenly ..

Manour and shosho entered my room ..

Mnera: yaaawwww nezlay bser3aaa

My heart was beating quickly .. I was really afraid!!

Shosho: hal bent kella qatlatny eb buroudhaa

Kan weddi asakket shosho bs ma gedart kent metwatra 7ail ..

I looked at the mirror ou ashwa makan aku shay mekhtereb ..

I went down stairs ..

Ree7at elbukhour etyanneen ..

Mom: ta3alayy kahma bedeshoun

I stood beside my mom and my grandma and waited them to entered the house ..

I saw him .. it was like a dream coming truth ..

His look was AMAZING!! Akhh wallah wllah jameeel! He was smiling ou his qamaza was glowing 
and these adorable eyes saraw shkhouuu6 his smile 7aail tyanneen weyya his teeth eshawgouuun bss 
shway 9ufer bs it doesn’t matter eshawegggg!

7uthourak sayyedi 6aghy wehu ye6gha 3alay ana men hawlat elmawqef kha6ar yughma 3alay

They entered the guests room            ..

His mom and grandma sit with my mom and grandma ..

There was two arm chairs separated by a small table , me and Rakan sit on them ..

Rakan whispered: mumkin net3arraf?

I smiled ..

Me: la ma akallem 9bayyan

Rakan: ahha nethamech?

Me shyly: mu 3alaik

Rakan: kafu wallah 3ala rasiii

I smiled ..

Rakan: gmashaa

Me whispered: amer

Rakan smiled: ma yammer 3alaich 3adu, fechy bluetoothech

Me giggled: shinuuu??

Rakan: badezlech shaghla

Everything from him is special!!! Wella minu yesta3mel Bluetooth al7een ..

Me: ok

Shinu bedez ya3ni? I was wondering .. bs most likely ehda’;$

He sent me the file ..

Rakan: la tefte7ena al7een 3ugub fechee brou7ech ok?

Waaaay jameeeeel!!! Walla jad etha bettem 3ala your “ok?” I will definitely melt!!

Me shyly: enshallahh

Rakan: enzain khantekalam gentle to gentle ya3nii

DAMMA KHAFEEEF!!! Abaaihhh ma age6 menna shaaay!!!!!

Me: shlounnn?

Rakan: ya3ni meta elmelcha wel 3ers? Tara ana dammy 7aar mu t6awlenhaa yuba!

Me giggled: waaayy 3yal hal wagt 3yelaaa 3yelaa khannestamte3 bel la7thaaat

Rakan: walla banat hal wagt elly 3ayara ema6e6oun mu 3ashan shay bs teghelly aw 3naad 3ad entay 
naggy wa7da

Me shyly: meta betakharraj?

Rakan: su’al 7eluu , la atghashmar wallahh “he was laughing” hal course enshallah

Me: wanasaaaaa

Rakan: entay meta?

Me: ana bagelly sena ou ni9 weyya el9aifyy

Rakan: entay sana thaltha 9a7?

Me: eehh

Rakan: accounting?

Me: eehhh

Rakan: eeh nafsy

Me: men gaddii

Rakan: 9ij el7emdella el7emdella a7esny 6e7t 3ala kanz youm 3araftech

Ana elly lazem a7med rabbee EL7EMDELLAH!!! Wella ana shfeeny zouuuud wain elkanz fel 
mawthou3 gouul ana elly 6e7t 3ala kanz!!

Me shyly: 9ij rakan?

Faj’a he smiled and looked at the ground ..

Rakan in a calmed voice: ete3amedoun?

Ahhaaa abaaaih loooool eshaweegggg!!

Me shyly: la nesaawww

Rakan: shlounech weya el accounting 3asa mashya?

Me: foug ma tet9awwar

Rakan: afaa2

Me surprised: laaishhh

Rakan: gelt algally 3ether ou adarsech

Me giggled: mee7 ana meee7 ma afhaaam a7taj tutor

Rakan laughed ..

Me: shinu burjek?

Rakan: shdarrani, mu taba3 hasuwalef ana

Me: aana ba3ad ma agrahum bs sheft ana ay burj

Rakan: 3abali ba3ad

I felt happy because I felt his caring ..

Suddenly he received an SMS he looked at his mobile screen and smiled ..

I felt curious to know what did he read!!

I looked at him and smiled ..

Rakan smiled back: thurayya dazatly basher

Me shyly: shradait 3alaiha?

Rakan: ma radait bs eljawab ma3rouf afa 3alaich

I blushed ..

The time passed FASTER THAN FERRARI!!!

And he leftL ..

Awal ma they left tejabalna ana ou omy ou mama 7essa ou manoura ou 7essa ..

Mama 7essa: bayen 3alaihum san3een

They areee san3eeen!!!!

Mom: eeh

Mnera: mama 7essa shlouna elrayyal 3asa hotie?

Mama 7essa: manour youzaay sh’hatoya?? Haa?

Me , hessa and manoura laughed hardly ..

Mom: yumma ba3ad mat3arfen manour tkallek wayed

Mama 7essa: ha gamousha shrayech feeh?

7essa: ma yabelaha su’al mama 7essa

7essa sayra malgoufa wayed!!!!

Me: madri!!

My mom looked at me and shook her head “yes yes”

I didn’t understand her ..

And all of a sudden I remembered the bluetooth he sent me ..

Me: tesbe7oun 3ala khair dekht

I left them and ran to my room ,closed the door, laid on my bed and open the Bluetooth file ..

OH MY GOD!!!! That was too much!!!!! I was opening my mouth and eyes while listening .. I couldn’t 
believe it! I felt like a princess .. I LOVE HIM!!!!

Here’s what he sent me ..

“9otech eldafy fee sam3i terannan .. eltefatty wagbal elnour men elwajh eljameel

wajhen abda3 elkhaleg fee 9un3ah ou tefannan .. luw baw9efah ma yekaffeni kalamen 6eweel

en jeet lel3eyoun elsa7era welkhad elly bel a7mar telawwan .. wela sha3raha elaswad elly malmesah 
men 7areer

weddi enny ateghazzal ou eb kalam eshe3r atefannan .. bs etetha7 enna elkalam eb 7aggaha jeddan 

men kel hatha abgha tefhemy shay wa7ed wateshakkar .. efhemy ya bent khalg allah tara kony men 
ghairech MUSTA7EEL

hatha eshe3er ehda’ menni lech ou ana m’alfa khe9ee9an 3ashanech”

My eyes couldn’t stop tearing ..

I replayed it more than 10 times ..

I never dreamed of such amazing thing before!!

His warm voice was gorgeous ..

Everyday I discover a new adorable thing in him that make me love him more and more ..

He is perfect!!

I can’t wait for that big day!

I can’t wait to be under his wings and fly awaaaay ..

I sent Rakan an SMS:

“ gorgeous , amazing, adorable, beautiful LOVED IT!! I loved every single word in it YOU ARE 
AMAZING RAKAN!!! I would never find like you! Thanks a lot;* and yes your voice was amazing 

He didn’t reply back .. but probably he smiled ..

I went to the bathroom , changed my cloths and happily slept ..

That was my day ..

Its Monday ..

I woke up at 9:00 am ,I looked at my mobile and so his amazing SMS ..


“ happy ena 3jebech testahlain akthar”

I smiled ..

I went to the bathroom to take a fresh warm shower ..

I wore my missoni cardigan with my H&M pair of jeans ..

My hair was tied into a pony tale ..

I went to the college ..

My first lecture was with Raghad ..

I sat with her el omour kanat 6aybaa la’anna madarat 3an el engagement ..

After the lecture ..

Raghad: teyen sandoug enajma neshrab shay?

Me: ok

I went with her ..

We ordered hot drinks ..

After a while ..

Raghad: oh reema , ghareeba ma yat tsalem

Me: akeed ma shafatna

I went to reema ..

Me: reemaaa

Reema: na3am!

Me: shlounech?

Reema: tawech tes’eleen? Wainech 3ani bel weekend haa? 3ayazt adeg ou adezlech wentay 7agratny!

Me: sorry 7ayatee

Reema: khalas 3adi! Bs ana kel elly abe ehtemam ehtamy feni methel ma ana feech mehtamma!

Stop the drama!!!!

Me: enshallah 7abebty

She smiled ..

I am getting my friends back .. walaw enny adri enna 3elaqty ma3a raghad mara7 e6awwel!

The time passed without any action .. I didn’t see Rakan today!

I went back home , ate lunch and took a long nap ..

I woke up ..

I looked at mobile wella its 7:30 pm I shocked! But receiving an SMS from Rakan calmed me down but 
not so long ..


“mu entay elly tel3ebeen feni chethy ! athbatty enech waq7aa wana elly ta3abt galbi b7ubech 9ij 7asafa 7asafa 3ala wagty 3ala 7ubi 3ala eny 3araftech!! Fashalteny jedam ahaly 9ij ma teste7een! Mes7ay raqmmi luw sama7ta!”

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


This post is dedicated to Madliar commenter;*

I love her comments<3

Ok I lost my patience !!

I decided to call him ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

User not reachable ..

I felt worried!

My heart was beating so fast and my thighs were trembling ..

My tummy was aching me ..

Eshai6an kan ewaswes ley ..

Kheft ekoun sar shay 7g rakan aw hawwan 3anny ma yabeeny ..

I was really afraid ..

I tried to call again ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

Calling ..

Connected ..

A wide smile was drawn on my face ..

Rakan: aloo

His voice was so sleepy but I loved it!

Me: halaa

Rakan: 9aber 9aber ana 7alman wella gemtt??

Me shyly: gemt .. atwaqa3

Rakan surprised: sh9aayerr elly gmasha begalalat adraha dagga 3alay?

I blushed ..

Me shyly: khuft 3alaik

Rakan whispered: 9ij?

Abbaaiihh 7aaarrr jaadd 7aaarrr!!! Ou elmukayyef 70 kan bas wallaahhh 7aarrr!!!

I was sweating wallahhh!!

Me soooo shyly: eeh

Rakan quietly: shloun?

I felt butterflies in my stomach ..

Me shyly: madri

Rakan giggled ..

Me: ok 3ayal madam mafek shay ma3assalama

Rakan: wain? wain? Wain 3ala allah?

Me shyly: basakra

Rakan: radaaina??

Me shyly: hehe sorry, shlounek?

Rakan: walla nezga7 entay shakhbarech?

Tana7t!! shinu nezga7!

Me: hehe taamam

Rakan: chenecch walhana 3alay haa?

ana denya men elwalah

These butterflies cant get out from my stomach!!

Me shyly: wainek 6oul ams?

7asait ena su’aly malgouf ou eny ra7 andeger bs ashwa mu rakani elly yadger ..

Rakan: kent eb mena 3abdallah

Me: 9ij? Shalaihkum menak?

Rakan: la shalaih elrabe3

Me: ahha

Rakan: entaw mina 3abdallah shinu?

Me: la e7na ma3endena shalaih

Rakan: ahh! Walla 6afech el9aid amsss

Its not of my interests saddegny ma 6afni bs 7aram basayra ..

Me: allaahh t7adgouunn?

Rakan: eeeh afa 3alaich

Me: wanasa!! T9eed zbaidy??

Zbaidy lesmecha elwa7eda elly a3arefhaa ..

Rakan laughed hardly ..

I was surprised! Why he did laugh? I’m 100% sure enna esemha zbaidy!

Me: shinuu?

Rakan giggled: lazbaidi ma y9eedonha ana ou rab3yy hathy yabellaha shabak

Hahaaha shda3waa kel hathe7ek ya3ni! Ok 9ij su’aly kan ghaby bs sh3arrafny!

Me: ahha

Rakan: 9edtt hamour ou baloulain ou faskarr a3ajbech

Ok hamour asma3 fee bs elbajy yeddaad!!

Me: mashallahh 6ala3t 7addaag maylougg!

Rakan: afa2 laish mayloug!

Me: madri 3endek Panamera ou t9eed semach mu layeg

Rakan surprised: okhh shdarach enny asoug Panamera??

OOOOOPSS!!!! Faaashlaaa sharaaagge333!!

Me shyly: umm sheftek

Rakan: ahh ya3ni mu bs ana adri enech tsougen Lexis

Me: hahaaha

Ok a7esna ana ma3ah stalkers heehe ..

Rakan: ana arou7 eshalaih bel Patrol

Me: hmm                   

Rakan: taklen semach?

Weddi agoul laa 3ashan ana etharbaa bss 7aram mabe achatheb khal e7ebny the way I am ..

Me shyly: eehh

Rakan excited: laa?

Me: wallahh

Rakan: kafu wallaahh 3ala rassiii hathail elbanat esan3een mu 3yal hal wagt

Laa ana 3yal hal wagt la t7asesni enny 3ayouzaaa!!

Me: hahah

Rakan: t9adgeen gamoush?

Ok 6aa7at elmeyanaaa ..

Me: shinu?

Rakan: elweekend madri shfeeh 3alaina ma9akh’ha chenna

Ahhaa I understood ..

Me shyly: laishh?

Rakan surprised: tes’eleny laish ba3ad?

Me shyly: excited?

Rakan: akhhhh I’m cravingggg

I blushed ..

Awkward silence ..

Rakan: ha wainech?

Me shyly: kanii

Rakan: chenna zedt elchaila ou elgalb rhayyef?

I blushed ..

El7emdella enna mu mjabelni wella chan 3loum ..

Me shyly: shwayyaa

Rakan: ob ob allahh y3eena 3ad elbanaat dmou3hum 3end elbab shesaktech ba3dainnn?

LOOOOOOL!! Shaakuu abcheee saddegni mara7 abchy men el7ayaa ..

Me shyly: shda3waa

Rakan: la la yam3awdaa nebtelesh feech ba3daainn yalla bye yuba bye

Me giggled: ok bye

Rakan: ma 9addegaattt!

Me shyly: la mu 3an wallah

Rakan: ok basam7ech halmarra bs mu t3eedenha

Me shyly: ok

Rakan: yalla yuba allah y7afthech

Me: byee

I closed the line ..

suwaleefik mu6ar 3umri ou rebee3y tha7kat azhara

I went to manoura’s room ..

Me: manoura khane6la3

Mnera: badres gamoush

Me: waay shhal weekend!

Mnera: 6el3ay ma3a shosho matgoul laa

Me: wai3 mabe!

Mnera: ta3alay entay fakkartay shinu btalbesen 7g bacher??

Me: shinu bacher?

Mnera: haw!! Beyouuunn rakan ou oma!!

Me giggled: abaaih 9aaa7 9aa77

Mnera: hablaaa

Me: abaih madri shalbes shdarraniii

Mnera: fakray 3ala ma adres

Me: weddi arou7 ma3a fayo ashterelly shay 7adha t3aref bel fashion

Mnera: kaifech

I left her room and went back to my room ..

I looked at my mobile wella 2 missed calls from 7essa ..

I felt worried ..

Eff 3ala 7essa ya3ni 6awfay khalaas!!

I called her back ..

7essa: alo

Me: hala 7essa

7essa: hala feech shlounech?

Me: tamam bkhair

7essa: sh3endech al7een?

Me: ma3endi shay!!

7essa: 3ayal badlay bamarech

Me: wain?

7essa: ay mukan netghadda ou bs ana ma3ach khal manour tadres!!

Ok fahamt!!

Me: mali khelg khaleha yom thani!!

7essa: ana 6ala3t badlay yallah bye!!

Me: mabeee hay!!!

She closed it!

That wasn’t a way to talk to someone ya3ni 3aib 3alaich! Esalfa mu qaseb ..

7essa ensana 3aneeda! Ou etha ma kalematni elyoum bacher mehy mkhaletny fa qarrart eny abadel ou 
arou7 ma3aha ..

I wore H&M baby blue short cotton loose blouse with ZARA white non-sleeve tight shirt under the 
blouse and my skinny dark River Island jeans ..

My hair was straight ..

I went to manoura’s room ..

Mnera: waay 3alaich ya gamousha chanech ma daraity 3an hawa dari ella wagt emte7anaty

Me: hatha yezay? Yayya a36ech khabar eny ba6la3!

Mnera: hehe wain?

Me: weyya 7essa madri wain!

Mnera: shoufay!! Ew3y tkherreeen

Me: enshoufff, kahe edeg yalla bye

I left manoura’s room and went down stairs ..

Mom: ha wain 3ala allah?

Me: ba6la3 ma3a 7essaa

Mom: ok

I left the house and entered Hessa’s 2004’s golden Mercedes ..

Me: esalamu 3alaikum

7essa: wa3alaikum esaalam

After a seconds of silence ..

7essa: ha wain nrou7?

Me eb qemmat elnafseyya: kaifech

7essa: la naggay ana ta7t amrech elyoum

6ab3an ta7t amri 7g tese7eb el7achy!!

Me: gelt kaifech!

7essa: yalla 3ad ana al7een m6al3etech ekhtaray!

Me: asfa ma a7eb e6al3at elly waraha ma9ale7

7essa: you’d never understand!

Me: hahaha

7essa: enzain shinu meshtahya takleen

Me: mabe akel shay! Ana 6al3a ma3ach tgoulen elly 3endech ou neftak!!

7essa: entay matgoulelly shhal nafseyya

Me: agoulech shay? Deshy belmawthou3 men al7een ou reddeni elbait!

7essa: ashkara kalami 9a7 wella chan ma 3a9abtay chethyy!!

Me: shtaben to9leella 7essa??

7essa: minu rakan??

Me: mu gelnallech tutor?

7essa: he is not! Ana mu baby trag3oun eb kelmetain ou tabony a9adeg!

Me: mara7 t9adgeeni ella etha getlech rakan refejy aw 7abeeby 9a7? Ok he is!!

7essa: gmashaa!!

My eyes filled with tears .. akhhh my tears laish kella zahbeen!!!

Me: na3am!!!

7essa: tara ana ekhtech ou abeelech elkhair laish ma t9ar7eeni!!

Me: ekhty bs 7g elfethaye7?

7essa: etha gelteelly mara7 agoul 7g omy!

Me: haha shosho sbegtech ou galat!

7essa: 9ij?

Me: tgoulelly entay mu baby shoufe shloun tafkerech ou tafkeer elbaby wa7ed!

Chenny badda3t?

7essa: ou9 wala kelma e7tarmy nefsech!!

I laid my head back on my seat, closed my eyes and took a deep breath ..

7essa: laish tlefen wetdoreen?

Me: redeni elbait 7essa!

7essa: ras yabes maku fayda feech!

I ignored her sentence ..

We both stayed silent until we arrived home ..

I entered our house ..

Mom: ha ma 6awaltaw!

Me: eeeh ma re7na

Mom: haw laish shesalfa?

Me: madri 7asait mali nafs akel

Mom: ba3ad 3umri t7ateen bacher?

What a good reason!

Shahad: elkhof men baakerrr

Waaaaaay shosho!!

Me: ee yummaa

Mom: 3adi elkel chethyy! Fakartay shtalbesen?

Me: laaa

Shahad: 3ad lebsay 3adel mu tfashleena!

I gave her that fake smile and left the living room ..

I went to my room and called fayo ..

Fay surprised: halaa halaaa

Me: shakhbarech?

Fay: 7araaam 3alaaaichhh wainechh?????

Me: shasawwiiii ma kallamt a7ad a9lan

Fay: 7aram 3alaich shfeech??

Me: mafeni shay bas ma kan moody 9a7y

Fay: akhaf 9abech 3athab el3ashegeena?

Me giggled: haaha laa ya7aalat elma3shougeen ohma eb 6erej wel 3athab eb 6ereej

Fay: 7araaam 3alaaichhhh?

Me shyly: fayyoo 7adhum eshawgouuunn

Fay: akher elmustajedat bser3aa

Me: rakaniii

Fay: eeehh??

Me: bacher yaaay yakh6ebnyy

After seconds of awkward silence ..

Me: aloo?

Fay: chathabaaa!!

Me: wallah shfeech!

Fay: raakan rakan eb yakh6ebech??


Me: ee faay!!

Fay: 9edamtenyy

Me: haw laish??

Fay: madri bs raakan jamal ou 3ez ou akhlaaq kel man yetmannaaa yakh6ebech entay?

SHOCKED!!! Fay? Faay tgoul chethyyy?? Shhaal eslouuub!

Me: ou ana shfeenyy?

Fay: mafeech shay walla mu qasdi bel3aaks bes enna 3adeyya 3alaih hatha qasdii

3ether aqbaa7 men thanb!! Ana 6ay7a men 3ainhaa??

Me: fay ana men awal shay gaylatlech shda3wa chethy mestaghreba! Ou shinu 3adeyya 3alaih! Ameeer 
wana madrii?? Ba3dain el7ub may3aref ashkal el7ub glouub ou entay akhbar!!

Fay: adriii bss ma hagait esalfa zawaj!!

Is she jealous or something?? Ok 9a7 Rakan jameel ou akhlaqa 3alya ou kel bent tetmanna bs badda3at 
wayed nazzalat men gadri!!

Me: entay sh7arrech ana ba3aref!! Kho raylech ou thamneta shtabeen ya3ni!!

Fay: 7araam 3alaaaichhh!!! Anaaa a7tar mennech? Gouly entay te7tarain menny bs ana a7tar laish? 
Shfeech zoud 3annii huh!!

Me: 3erfay shaghlaa tara eljamal mu kel shay bedenya! Shfaydat eljamal etha maku akhlaq? Men barra 
halla halla ou men dakhel ya3lam allah

Fay: shqasdech entaay?

Me: ellyy eb balech zaaiin!!! Yalla bye!

My face became hot and my cheeks started to shake .. My heart started to beat so fast!! I was shocked! I 
was too shocked! That wasn’t Fay! Fay my lovely friend the one who I trusted her and told her about my 
only love!

Ok 9ij enna I’m just a 160 cm tall girl , whose 56 kg weighed, owned a white yellow skin, soft black 
long hair .. hmm what else? I have these wide eyes oh yes I love my eyes and a good portion of cheeks 
with a small pink lips and that’s it!

But when we talk about Rakan .. He’s a tall gentle man with a PRETTY face , amazing black sharp eyes 
, one qamaza on the right side, perfect tanned skin, pinky lips, le7ya khafeeefa, shanab mu7taram .. hatha we7na lail7een barra ma dashainaa! Lama ndesh nelga 6eebat elgalb ou jamal erou7 ou elakhlaaq ou elrejoulaa .. wayed endemajt eb wa9fahh bs wa9fah nassany el7ezen elly kent feeh .. mujarrad etafkeer feh yes3edniii!!

Ok it seemed inna maku muqarana bs esloub fay mu esloub esara7a!!

Then I went to the bathroom to take a warm shower then I went to sleep ..

That was my day ..

Its Sunday ..

Ahh its finally Sunday .. I really want him! After losing my best friends I need him to be by my side .. I 
know that manoura is still there and she would never let me down but even though I want Rakan!

I decided to skip my classes! Maly nafs ashouf nas mabe ashoufha!!

I changed my PJ and went to the kitchen ..

My mom and dad were eating breakfast ..

Mom: haa sh3endech ma badaltay lail7een

Me: mabe adawem

Dad: yuba shda3wa mu 3errs

I smiled ..

Mom: la tloumhaa ma tenlam

I ate scrambled egg and a fresh hot milk with my parents ..

I went back to my room ..

I opened my closet , it was full of pants and shirts with 2 skirts and some dresses in the side ..

Ughhh!! Maaa3endiii shaay fate7 el3aaainn!!!!

Ok I was having a white tight dress from ZARA I think I’m going to wear it with a black cardigan on it 
also from ZARA and a thin silver belt I bought it from London before two years .. with my classic 
Chanel flat ..

After choosing something to wear ..

I went to look at my mobile ..

1 message from Rakani ..

“9aba7 elkhair 3asa ma shar laish mu mdawma?”


“9aba7 enour;* .. atezahhab lek;$”


“9ij? Akhhh WAITING!!!”

I smiled ..

I sent manoura on BBM ..

Kashkash .. 3alaa naar na6errr;*:

Manoura fair wella straight ?

Muneera neera neeera .. :


Kashkash .. 3alaa naar na6errr;*:        

Mneera men 9ijjee!

Muneera neera neeera .. :

Yazeeen elmetwatter! El fair 3alaich naarrr

Kashkash .. 3alaa naar na6errr;*:        


I called someone called nameta to styled my hair ..

Shosho putted the makeup for me "hazulat" ..

bs it was so simple , a thick black eye liner with lots of orange blusher and red lipstick ..

The time passed quickly until it became 7:00 pm ..

I was waiting for them waiting and waiting …