GAMOUSHA'S DIARIES Part19

Me: shinu?

Rakan: e7eglech t3a9been

Me: la el6areeqa wala elmukan munaseb enek etkallemny eb chethy mawathee3 3endek shay deg 3alay!

Rakan: ok

Rakan turn his face and left me ..

NOOO!! Don’t leave pleaaase don’t!! I regretted!! Why did I let him leave!!!

Yaraab edeg ou ma yakshet yaraab!!!

Shahad: entay 7mara?

Me: chabbay!!

Shahad: 9arlena sena enkha6e6 wensawi ana ou janoun akher shay

Me: shakuuu mdakhleen 3e9kum eb shay ma ykhe9kum!! Ba3dain entaw ma tadroun shesalfaa!!!

Shahad: embala nadryy!!

Me: jana hathy mal 6ragat fethee7aa!!

Shahad: laa a9lan manour galatlyy

I shocked!

Me: manour? Laish? Shaku tgolech??

Shahad: awalan shda3wa tara ana ekhetkum ou maku shay yenkhash!

Me: thaneyan?

Shahad: ana adry ennech entay ou rakan t7eboun ba3ath

Khara 3alaich!!!!

Shahad: ou lama hathak elyoum kentay 7ail methayga chan as’al manour ou galatly fa re7t dagait 3aala 

janoun ffahhamt’ha ou fahemat okhouha ou kha6a6na ma3a eshoufech hny

7araaaaaam!!!

Me: 7abeeebty shosho!!

Shahad: ana 7abeeba bs entay madry laish tekreheenyy

Abaaaihh 7araaaaammm!!!!

Me: laaa minu gaal wallaaaahh a7ebechhh!!!

Shahad shyly: ok

We went back home ..

I checked my mobile ..

Unknown:

“ by the way your look was gorgeous”

Me: haw minuuuu!!!!!

Is it Rakani’s number???? Yes it is!!!

I smiled automatically ..

Yallah call me call yallahhh!!!

Ok I will reply to let him call!

Me:

“thankyou”

I saved his number again ..

After a while ..

Rakan sent me a file by whats app ..

It was voice note ..

He was saying an amazing poem that made me cry!!!

Here it is:

“Fargach 9a3b ou rabby 3alay yshhad

Kenty ya gmasha sham3a tenawer ayyamy eltheleema

Kenty jawad elkhair elly 3alay enhad

Kenty sukkar ye7ally rou7y la 9arat mereera

Men ra7alty wana many ana rakan

Re7ty ou khallaiteny tayeh adawer fe elthalam

Wa7sha 9arat eb galby ou thlma bkel mukhan

Wainech enty 3ainy ma ta3ref tanam

Tefakker eb theyaha elly ra7al bala este’than

Erje3y ley ya gmasha tukfa khaleny a3ref men akoun

Erje3y ou khally elfar7a fe ayyamy tesood

Erje3y ou reddy theya 3youny elsoud

Erje3y khally el3aasheg yeheem bhal khedoud

Walla w7eshatny khdoudek ou galbek ou el3eyoun

Erje3y khallena nred blaa qeyooud

Khalena ana ou enty ou kel menna be7uba yejoud

ERJE3Y WALAH SHOUGY LECH FAAG EL7EDOUD!!!”

His words stirred my emotions!!

I was crying against my well ,he took my heart by his cosy words ..

After seconds Rakani called me ..

My heart started to beat SO FAST!!!

Me: alo

Rakan: al7een e9er akalmech?

I smiled ..

Me shyly: eeh

Rakan: sema3tay el voice note?

Me shyly: hatha mu ay voice shloun ma asma3a

I felt his smile .. his lovely smile ..

Rakan: ma kesart kha6rech?

Me shyly: embala

Rakan: ya3ni 6a7 el7a6ab?

Me: enta e6ayye7 9akhar mu bs 7a6ab

Rakan: e7na bs khal netzawwaj la aghargech bel 7ub ne6ray bs

Me shyly: na6ra 3ala naar

Rakan: 7ar9y 3ala omech tes’elech yubaaa

Me giggled: 7adda men 9ijjek

Rakan: 9ayra thegeela elyoum weyya elwayh

KAAAAAAAAAK!!!

Me: a3ajbek

Rakan: la ma 3ajabteny ella degarteny

Me: sheft elbanat elly tarseen el café ne9hum eb kuleyatna mu nagseen kalam

Rakan: eee 7etta ana en9edamt beza7ma awal marra alga chethy matrous yemkin laish 3eed

Me: la tawhum 6ay7en 3alaih tlagee

Rakan: enzain shrayech eb she3ry

Me: awal shay enta m’alfa?

Rakan: 6ab3an!

Me: la walla 9ij!

Rakan: ee wallahh! Laihadaraja 7elw?

Me: rakan eshe3er khayaaaaliii

Rakan: walaaht 3ala esmy belsanechhh

Me shyly: best poet ever!!

Rakan: yabakhteee dam eny eb natharech a7san shaa3er wala ena sha3er kebera eb 7agy

Me: ent elkebeer eb 7ag’ha

Rakan: la magdar 3ala chethy ana yallaaaa meta netzawaj ma9akhteeha tara

Me giggled: ana wella ent?

Rakan: ohhhh tabeeny ya3ni?

Me shyly: haw?

Rakan: yasalaaam 3ally esta7awww

Me: hehe

Rakan: yalaitny yamech wafaqe9 khdodech

Me shyly: men metaa?

Rakan: ahdafy gamat tekbar shfeech hatha wala shay welkhafy a3tham gamousha

Me shyly: Yuma Yuma

Rakan: allah la yfaregna

Me: ammeeeen men galbbbbb

Rakan: walla ana elfatra elly 6afat engalabt 180 daraja yekhreb baity ma hagaitny rhayyef

Me: la 7asha kelek rujoula bs tadri elwalahh 7etta ana 9ert drama queen men fragek

Rakan: thurayyo krehtech tgolly kel hatha men gamshu laitek mu 3arefha bs ana cha3amt’ha

Laaazem ma tgouuully chethyyyy!!!!!!

Me: hehe

Rakan: 9ij enha ghalya bs maa tgayshech

Awwwwhh!!!!!!!!

Me shyly: ba3ad 3umri

Rakan: okh 9arli sena afalter kalamy 3alabu ma khe6abtech wentay tge6enha barda mbareda?

Me shyly: la shu3ooreyyan

Rakan: heheh

I heard my mom’s voice was calling me from down stairs ..

Me: rakan

Rakan: sammaay

Me giggled: ma faltart

Rakan: ya3ni goulay besmellahera7man era7eem 3aiib?? 7araam?

Me laughed: ok ok bamasheeeha, ana lazem asakra

Rakan: 9ij ma teste7een! Agolech samay tgolelly basakra

Me: walla omy tnadeeny

Rakan: ok kellesh wala 3amety

Me: hehe ok bye

Rakan: allah y7afthech

I closed the line ..

I went to my mom ..

Me: hala Yuma

Mom: entay wainech? 3ashaaa

Ughhh! 7asbali 3endech salfaa!!

I sit with my family and we ate dinner with them ..

Mnera: ha wain re7taw kashkash?

Me: chocolateness

Mnera: estanastaw?

Shahad: laa2!

Mnera: a777 laish?

Me: 3adi

Mom: entay shfeech sayra nekadeyya estansay eklaay shyaach!

Me: besmella shda3wa nekadeyya ya7afeth la bel3aks 7aleyyan ana 6ayra men elwanasaa

Mnera: wooow!

Shahad: haa???

Mom: allah ytamem

Dad: khaloha shfech 3alaiha fozeya?

Mom: mafeny shay bs shofha shloun khale9at ma takel la y9eer fech ekte’ab

Me: smella 3alay

Dad: maku ella el3afya la tfawleenn

Mnera laughed hardly ..

Me: kelmat ekte’ab edaldeghech wayed madry laish!

Mom: ya bnayte ana a7atech wallah

Me: jad jad men elwaanasa many gadra akel wallah 7addy mestansa

Shahad: el7emdella wesheker

Mnera: malech sheghel shosho aku shay 9ar eb hasa3tain ma nadry 3anna

Me: ya 3alech elly shagouul

Mnera whispered: fetha7tech?

Me whispered: ella rube3

Mnera: haha mes7eha eb wayhe

Me: ok

Mnera: enzain golelly shsaar

Me: later

Mnera: ok

After we had finished from dinner I went to my room ..

Manora follow me 7g tese7eb el7achy ..

I told her everything then I went to bed ..

That was my day ..

Its Tuesday ..

When I woke up I saw an sms from rakani ..

Rakani:

“wait for my mom’s call today! I cant wait anymore”

Me:

“Ok;$”

I changed my PJ’s and wore blue jeans with a glittery zara silver shirt ..

My hair was tied into “kubba” ..

I went with my family mom, dad, 7essa, manora and shosho to Ashaz restaurant in spoons to eat lunch 

together and then we went to alkoot to eat dessert ..

We went back home at 6:00 pm ..

I remembered Rakan’s SMS ..

I went to Lata ..

Me: lata did anyone call?

Lata: no

Me: ok

I went to my room to changed my clothes ..

Then I went down stairs and sit next to the home telephone and waited for his mom call ..

Waiting , waiting and waiting!!

Ollah it became 10:30 meta nawya edeg!!

I went to my room and sent Rakan an SMS ..

Me:

“Rakan did you tell your mom to call?”

Rakan:

“yes”

Me:

“aha maybe she called when we were out “

Rakan:

“no she didn’t call a9lan”

Me:

“why?”

Rakan:

“agoulech later am busy nw”

SUB7AN MUGHAYER ELA7WAL!!!

GAMOUSHA'S DIARIES Part18

I froze in my place ..

Am I dreaming or something??

Please wake me up! Some one slap my face please!!!

Ok ok lets back to the reality .. I am not dreaming but my mom MUST be kidding!!

I was shocked more than anytime before ..

Me: yumma min 9ijech???

Mom: haw ee shfeech chenech met7asfa?

CHENNYYY??? My trears wainkum? ta3alaaw I need to cry!!!!!!

Me: yumma al7een shasawwwiii!!!!

Mom: shetsawweeen?

OMY YALLAHA BUROUUUDDD!! Luww ma ehya omy chan ga6a3t’haaa!!!!!

7essa: yumma gamousha tabeh wentay na7ashteee

Mom: tawha etekallam wella ehya ma tabee madri shelly khallaha eta7assaf, ethaher enech daraitay enna 

baizata wayed? Ou enna wathefta mawjouda? Ou obo ma36eh arth belyarmouk?

Eee eee 7asfeeny akthaar eee ba3ad kamlaay a6rebeeny!!!

Mom: la ya mama la tdeshen 3ala 6uma3 ow3y tfakreen chethy ou hal ashya’ kelha mu muhema e7na 

negdar nlabeha lech aham shay el akhlaaq

Me: Yuma 7ayateee entay ana kel hal ashya’ elly gelteha tawni a3arefha menech!! Ou ma t’hemnyy!! Bs 

ana lama eb la7that qathab agoulech mabe atzawaj ma takhthen kalamy jad ou seeda tgoulellehum ma 

nabe se’leeny ana 9a7bat eshan yemkin akoun ghayyart rayye ya3ni!!

Mom: walla youm geltelly kentay sh7lailech la qathab wala shay ou youm enech ghayyarty rayech laish 

ma yeetay ou gelteelly ha?

Me: hagaitech betshawreny marra thanya aw 3alaqal ta36eni khabar tara mamdahum yaw elyoum men 

bacher entay gaylatlehum!! Chenna ezawaj hatha mu eb kha6rech!

Mom: ba3ad laish enna6erhum 3ala mameesh madam la’ engolehum ou khala9na

7essa: ashoufech tadreen enna omy dagat 3alaihum 3ala 6oul ou rfethat’hum! Laish tetghaibain?

Mom: ee entay shdarrach minu galech?

Me: 7essa galatly

Yarab 7essa ma tefthaa7!!

7essa: ana?

Me: bs bs bs bedaina netghaiba 3ad! bekhte9ar ana abee hatha elrayyal shlouunn??

Mom: rou7ay lebsy beshtech ou emshy nakh6eba shrayech?

7essa laughed hardly ..

Me nervously: abaaih Yuma ma9adgech!!! Shhal buroud elly yalech???

Mom: entay elly shhal buroud? Esalfa mar 3alaiha 7ol eshahar tawech taf6eneen?

Me: agoulech tawni adryy!!

Mom: luw ana 7aree9aa ou 9ij abee arou7 as’al omy at’akkad menha mu sakta ou khamra 3ala 3umri

7essa: Ou laish tabeena faj’a? Qen3eena?

Akhhh 3ala 7essaa!! I hate her tnaarfez!!

Me: erte7t la!!

Mom: 7abeebty gaamousha qaddar allah wa ma sha’a fa3al e7na ma negdar ndeg 3alaihum ngoulehum 

ena e7na rathen feekum 3ugub ma refathnakum ham mu 3adla!

I felt that everything between me and Rakan is over!!

I felt sorry on me!

It wasn’t my fault!!!

I went to my room with a sadness on my face ..

I laid on my bed and started to think how to fix the things!

Its really hard to talk to Rakan and pleading him to engage me again!

Rakan must decide to engage me again his self and I know that’s impossible!!

He still don’t know that I didn’t refuse him and it was all misunderstanding between me and my mom!!

I can call him and explained it for him yes I can!

No I cant!! How can I call him again after all the nonsense I said to him yesterday!! No way!! He’d 

never hear me!

Akhh I need a miracle!! I give up!!!

I went to manoura’s room “the savior” ..

Me: manouraa

She felt my sadness ..

Mnera: shfeeechhh??

I told her everything while crying hardly..

Mnera: entay haddaayy kel shay yet9alla7 ou rakan shakla metfahhem ou san3

Me: tabeeny arou7 ou agoulaa??

Mnera: eee shfeeha!

Me: men 9ijjech? Malyy waaayh magdaar fashla!

Mnera: el7aya ya maama mara7 efeedech la khasarty erayyal!!

Me: laaa ensshallaahh!! Alla la ygoul

Mnera: you are losing him tara!!!

Me: manoura la teg3eden tkhar3eeny entay ba3ad!!! Sa3deny please awal marra at3allag eb shakh9 

chethy jad abeeh!!

Mnera: deggy 3alaih al7een

Me: 9a3ba manouraa!!!

Mnera: men kalamech fahamt enna fraga a93ab 9a7?

I left her and went to my room, I took my mobile and call him immediately ..

He picked it up ..

My heart started to beat so fast!

Rakan: hala gmasha!

He is saying my name I’m happy!!!

Me: rakan ana ma refathtek!

Rakan: raddaina??

Me: omy fahma elmawthou3 ghala6 wallaahh ana abeeek ana magdar a3eesh bedounek rakan ana 

fegadtek fegadtek 7ail ..

Rakan: bs bs la ttheleen 3umrech akthar!

Me: ma asammeeha mathala rakan kanat ayyam tef9elna 3an ezawaj tadri shinu ayyam kan bagy ayyam 

ou atzawejek

Rakan: kalam omech shsalfeta?? Elly afhema menna wa7ed men athnain ya ehya mu rathya feny aw 

entay mu rathya feny

Me: mustaaa7eel! Ana ma y7aselly nafsek rakan!!!

I was wishing to say a7ebbeek weeedddyyy!!!

Rakan: asme3ech explain it!

Me: ana getlaha mabeek bs ghayyart rayee ou ehya 7asbalha ana still mabeek ou omy tesarra3at wayed!!

Rakan: geltellaha ya3ni!!

Oh no no no no please walla I didn’t mean it ma gelt mabeek 3ashan mabeek laa 3ashan else7t raghadd 

wallahh a7ebha bs al7een ana a7ebek more than anyone akhh shagoulla shagharred!!!

Me: wallaah its hard to explain it wallah bs be sure ena ana ma getlaha mabeek la’anna 9ij mabeek 

wallah ana men gabel la a3arfek abeek wallaa wallaaa

Rakan: bs gmasha ma weddy e3terafat akthar kafy ga3da e6ee7en men 3ainy tarach wana elly 7asbaly 

7abaiteny leshakh9y 6ala3tay men gabel la t3arfen shakh9y 7abatny? 3ashan shakly ou sayarty? Wala 

3aib 9edamteny la tkamlen mabe an9edem zyada faman allah

He closed it!

My face was straight face!! I didn’t love you because of your look or car no I am not Raghad’s kind!!! I 

loved you because of your high morals and when I knew you I loved you because of you!!!!

Why the things are getting more complicated why!!

I went to my mom ..

I started to cry ..

Mom: shfeeeechhhh?

Me: Yuma kellaa mennechh

Mom: entay lail7een? Khalas 7abebty eyeech elly a7san menna enshallah!

Me: maku a7san menna 9adgeeny makuu!!

Mom: ya bnaytee elly ma yabena ma nabee 9a7 wella la’?

Me: al7een ohwa 9ar ma yabena?? Mahu entay elly refathtee!

Mom: elrayyal la bagha wa7da 9ij ma yey’as men awal marra ya6lebha marrat lain tertha feeh!

My mom wasn’t understanding!! And I really don’t know how to explain!!

Me: ok

I left her and headed to my room ..

Shahad: shfeeechhh???

Me: mafeny shay!

Shahad: kel hal dmou3 ou mafech shay?

Me: eee!! Bala legafa haa

Shahad: entay shhanafseya elly nazla 3alaich?

I ignored her sentence and entered my room ..

And now what to do?

I should be happy and carry on my life!! I should forget him! Forever!!

Hahahaa NO WAY!!! The idea of forgetting him is IMPOSSIBLE!!

Ohh god please help me!!!

I prayed for Allah with a big hope that Allah will bless me sooner or later ..

Al7amdellah 3ala kel 7al!

The days are passing while I am trying to forget him ..

Everytime I see him in the college I feel confused ..

I deleted his number, his messages and the audio he sent me , but the hardest thing that I couldn’t deleted 

him!!! I couldn’t deleted him from my heart, I couldn’t deleted him from my mind too! But The time 

would wholly deleted him ..

Its Saturday ..

I woke up, changed my clothes and went down stairs ..

There was no body ..

I was home alone!

Everyone was busy with eid ..

Shosho as I know didn’t buy a dress yet , manoura was searching for a shoes to buy and my father was 

in my grandma house!

I was finishing from all the eid’s stuffs because I was planning to forget someone so I spent my time in 

shopping instead of thinking of him ..

Hmm it was really boring to stay at home alone!!

I decided to go to sultan center to buy a red velvet ingredients and prepare it my self at home ..

When I back home I saw manoura ..

Me: oh yeetay?

Mnera: entay wain kentay?

Me: re7t markaz sel6an sharait aghrath el red velvet basaweha 7g el3eed

Mnera: ahh ya7lailech

Me: sharaitay jouty?

Mnera: akheran eeh!!

Me: zain ashwaaa

Mnera: chenna omy ou shoush 6awelaw?

Mama and shosho just entered the house

Me and manoura: 3umerkum 6eweel

Shahad: laaish?

Manera: tawny agoulaha 6awelaw

Mom: ba3ad ma t3arfoun shosho 6wala ma ya3jebha shay

Mnera: aham shay sharaitaw?

Shahad: eeeh

Me: Yuma ana enshallah basawi red velvet 7g bacher

Mom: khoush 3ayal sawway rahy khanwazze3

Me: eee ee basawy al7een 3ashan enwaz3a 3alail

Mom: ok

I went to the kitchen to prepare it while they were talking about which saloon they will go ..

At 6:30 my red velvet has done! It smell was delicious yummiii ..

Mom: allah allah shayyen 3adel

Me: hehe

Mom: yallah khangassem

Shahad: allaah eree7a wa9la lai el9ala bathoooug

Me: teslam eedy

Mom: 9ebray bengasma la khalla9na thougy

Shahad: akhaf mu 7elu khal athouuug

Me: na3aam na3aam

Shahad: la walla atghashmar 7etta shakla khayaaal

Mom: eee smella 3alaich gamousha ye6la3 menech

Me: a7rajtounyyy

Shahad: etha zad ba36y janouuun

My heart throbbed fast ..

Mom: eee testahel janoya ndez lehum

Shahad: 3adi 7etta luw one piece 7ag’ha etha ma ykaffee

Me: la 3aib etha ma kaffa nsawellehum

YestahlounL!!

Shahad smiled: okk

After we sent the cupcake to Rakan’s house I was expecting a message from his number but he didn’t 

send me anything!

Actually he shouldn’t send me because there is nothing between us!

It eid:D!!

Bel3eed my hair was wavy as usual and I wore my azra lace print dress from BCBG Maxazria with my 

classic Valentino ballerina ..

We went to our two grandma’s houses and my mom’s and dad’s ants and uncles  

Then we went back to my mom’s mom “my grandma” house ..

We stayed there until night ..

The second day of eid ..

From the minute I wake up until 3:00 pm ou shosho t7en:

shahad: wadeny chocolateness

Me: khal manoura twadech maly khelg

Shahad: mu rathya

Me: ou ana ba3ad mu rathya

Shahad: pleaaase

Me: obouy khal ewadeech

Shahad: shasawi ma3a obouy abe a7ad asolif ma3ah

Me: jana?

Shahad: 6al3aaaa

Me: weyya minu?

Shahad: shdarrany 3anha 6al3eeenyyy

Me: mabe! Khalas

Shahad: please walla gamoush entay a6yab wa7da fehum tukfain wadenyy

Me: efff badlaay

Shahad: ou ba6ale3 lech hdouuum

Me smiled: thankyou

Shahad 6ala3atly badlat el3eed!!

Me: shahad ya shaguuul!!

Shahad: shinuuu?

Me: be6al3eely ou 7altech 7ala akher shay badlat ams!!

Shahad: 3adi kho mu ray7en bait yadety e7na! ba3dain hathy a7la shay 3endech!!

Me: barra barra ana elghal6ana elly me3tamda 3aalaich!

Shwayya she convince me ou esara7a mekan ley khelg fa my look was typical yesterday’s look!

Me: yallaaahh!! Wella many mwadetech!!

I know thalait’ha wayed bs tmounn!!

We went to chocolateness ..

When I entered the café I saw him!!! Rakan was there!!

Me: shoush khanrou7 mukan thany za7ma hny!

Shahad: mabee!!! Sadgeenyy mara7 ared elbait ella makla chocolateness

Me: ok deshay 6elbay take away ou ana an6erech bara

Shahad: elly abe akla lazem hny mayseer take away!!

Me nervously: DE3LA!! Agoulech za7ma wain neg3ad ya3ny!!!

Shahad: ka aku 6awla hnaak!!!

Me: faq9aa!!

Shahad: kho yamna banat ou 9bay brou7a mara7 yet7arash fech 9adgeny

Me: ma tefhemeen

Shahad: ohh okho janouuun!! Laykoun bainech ou baina shay ou khayfa esalem 3alaich jedamy haa??

Yalaaait!!

Me: shakuuuu! Laaa 7adda laa!!

Shahad: baynelly enna 9ij la ou emshay neg3ad wenty sakta!!

SHAHAD!!!!!!

Me: akher marra a6al3ech!! Emshy jeddamyy!!

We sit on the table ..

 Once we sit Rakan came to me ..

I was surprised and my heart skipped a beat!!

Rakan: gmasha

Me wonderingly: hala

He smiled ..

GAMOUSHA'S DIARIES Part17

THURAYYA??? I was really surprised!

Me wonderingly: thurayya??

Thurayya: ee ana thurayya, sam3a feeny?

I was shocked!!!! mu mestaw3eba enna thurayya dagga 3alai shakuuuu madry!!

Me: wayed

Thurayya: men rakan 6ab3an?

Me: eeh!

Thurayya: shaklech lail7en men9adma?

Me: ee akeed ban9edem

Thurayya: ok en9edamtay aw ma en9edamtay hatha mu mawthou3na

Me: Haw!!

Thurayya: sem3eeny ya .. gmasha!! .. ana dagga 3alaich as’elech laish refathtay okhouy???

Refathta??

Me: ana refathta??

Thurayya: la omy rfethtaa!

Me: luw sama7tay thurayya e7tarmy nafsech!! Ou goulay 7g elly galech enny refathta simply khal egoul 

ma abeeha ok?

Thurayya: ana me7tarma nafsy men gabel la akalmech!! Ou ee ma yabeeech zaain fekkeenaa!!

………..: thurayyaaa!

Ohh is that rakan???? Ooops it was speaker .. WAAAY FASHLA!!!

Thurayya: ok basket!! Tefaham ma3aha entt

Me: rakan?

Rakan: lail7een feech shaadda t’alfeen?? Ma ta3abtay men elchethbb??

I choked in my tears I couldn’t say a word! Ma3ah bethaat ana ma achatheeb!!

Rakan: e7na sa’alnach su’al jawbay 3alaih!!!!! Laish refathteny sh7aggaaa?

Ana arfethek? NEVER EVER!! I don’t know why he said that! Why he acted like an innocent jedam 

ekhta!! Why he was blaming me ou ohwa elly Refathny!

Rakan: fashalteeny jedam ahaly! 3anadt’hum ou getlehum bakh6ebha gabel la atkharraj ou gabel ma tro7 

eb ne9ebha ou ehya tabeny bs 6al!!!

I was really confused MINU RFETHEK!!!

Thurayya: ana amout ou ashoufech!! Okhouy ma yenrefeth eb hasuhoula

Rakan: e7eglaha tarfethny bs ana 3ashan mayser shay chethy kalamtech ou sa’altech ya gmasha 9a7 

wella la’?!!

I started to cry hardly!! I felt the oppression .. I swear to god I didn’t refuse him!!

Ba3dain ohwa ou ekhta were SO RUDE with me e7eroun!!

Me nervously: RAKAN!!! ANA MA REFATHTEK!! ENTA ELLY FAJ’A YEET OU 

SAMMA3TNY KALAAM EQETHNY OU NAQAST 3ALAAY FAR7ETY!! KHALLAITNY 3 

ASABEE3 THAY3AA MADRI SHESALFA!! SHAKKAKTNY EB 3UMRY!!!

Awkward silence ..

Me: bye!!!

I was crying like a new born!! I just .. I hate him .. I hate them ..

Egoully 9edamta? HE DID! Ohwa elly 9edamny to be honest! Ohwa elly FAJ’A hadny ou eb kel 

waqa7a ekhally his sister edeg 3alai ou e6ale3ny bel shaina jedamha! Kelesh ma tewaqa3ta yahel .. 

kheera enna hadni!

Ou thurayya waaaayed en9edamt feeha!! Suwalfa 3anha ma tgoul enha chethyy!!

Ma3qoula edenya ma buga feehaa a7ad zain ma3qoula kel enas 3endehum 2 faces yalait two faces ou bs 

they are wearing masks kel 5 minutes eghayrouna!

I went to manoura’s room ..

Me: manoura

Mnera: my pretty eyes

Me: I’m really disappointed

Mnera: 3ashan Rakan?

Me: Rakan Raghad Fay kel elly 7oly

Mnera: fay ma3roufa mbayyen enha fake friend bs raghad ma tenlam ya3ni te7taj wagt

Me: weddi asawwi shay ghair shay yedeed akhaf e9eer feni ekte’ab

Mnera laughed hardly ..

Me: tara men 9ijjyyy ou ma ytha7ek!!

Mnera: haha smella 3alaich, enzain shrayech nsafer?

Me: mashallah bs ngoul bensafer bensafer mashallah

Mnera: khangoul 7g obouy nsafer eb 3e6lat el3eed

Me: mabe sufar abe shay asawi 3ala 6oul mabe bas derasa ou ghada barra la3at chabdyyy

Mnera: gamousha bs abech t7e6een eb balech shaghla taara entay alf wa7ed yetmanach ok? Ou entay 

ma sawaitay shay ghala6 enzain? Ou kheera enna 6ala3 3ala 7aqqeeqta gabel la y9eer sshay!

Me: many gadra atkhayyal 7ayatee ma3a ghaira manoura

Mnera: la please tekhayelay!

Me: ya3ni weddi ansaah weddi athaye3 wagty ma3a ghaira bs minu ghaira! Etha refeejaty el close 

6le3aw kelhum FAKE!!

Mnera: bs ur pretty twin sis MUSTA7EEL tkoun fake 9a7?

I smiled ..

Me: 9aa7

She hugged me a lovely warm hug ..

Manoura is my first and last love I cant imagine my life without her I adore her!

Me: tekhayelay mesa3 ekhta daggat 3alay!!

Mnera: chathaabaaa!! Laish shaaku shtabeee????

Me: ou 7a6eta speaker ou ohwa ga3ed ma3aaha!!

Mnera: minu rakan??

Me: eeeh!

Mnera: waai3 shhhal eslouuub!!!

Me: tekhayelay etgoully laish rufaathtay okhouy!!

Mnera: haw entay refathteee??

Me: haw manouraa!! Agoulech hadny tgoulelly refathtaa

Mnera: 3ayal laish tgoulech chethy??

Me: rakan gayellaha enny refathta tekhayelaay!!!

Mnera: ou ohwa laish egoullaha chethy??

Me: shdarrany 3annaa!!! Yahel ba3aad!! Gazzar feeny mudda ou al7een youm 9arat el9ejjeyya ga6ha eb 

rasi ou gal enny ana elly refathta mu ohwa!!

Mnera: haw!!!

Me: kheera wallah

Mnera: 7addaa!! Entay al7een enseeh ou namaay ou 3eeshay 7ayatechhh!!

Me: hatha elly be9eer bs allah ygaddernyy

Mnera: enshaallahh

I left her and went to my room, sit on my bed and talked to my self ..

The conversation was:

Me: no more rakan

My self: DUH!

Me: kent a7ebba amout 3alaih

My self: you still do

Me: bs I will try to stop loving him! Ma yestahel

My self: 7adda ma yestahel wai3 walla enarfez

Me: el7emdella 3ala kel 7al

My self: 7adda el7emdellah

Me: kheeeraa

My self: dekht

Me: banam

That was my day ..

Its Tuesday ..

I woke up early ..

I wore an XXL grey Planet Hollywood pullover with a black lagging and a yellow Hunter boot .. My 

hair was tied into “kubba” ..

I went to the college ..

I attended my first lecture ..

It was boring ,too boring ..

At 12:00 pm it was my break ..

I went to the square ..

I saw Raghad was sitting there ..

I went to her ..

Me: raghad

Raghad kanat 7adha mtaaan7aaa ..

Me: shfeech mtan7a shetkhezzennn?

I turned my eyes to the same direction where raghad was staring ..

My heart skipped a beat ..

She was staring on RAKAN!!!

E7eglaha ettaane7 feeh chethyy!!

Akhhh my heart was crying deeply!!!

I sit next to her ..

Raghad: ohh gamoushh

Me: laa tawenass 9arly sena raghad raghaad bs el ahl 7adeed

Raghad: entay 9otech wa6yy ma asma3

Me: ee ee kamlaay khozezay eb fares el a7lam

Raghad: gamoushh?

Me: haa

Raghad: shfeech?

7araaam ksarat khaaa6ryyy shes still okk 7araamm!!!

I smiled ..

Me: mafeeni shay

Raghad: waaay waaayyy nathrata tethba7niii

Ughhhh!!

Me: bss wallah shagaitay elrayyal wentay tkhezzen!!

Raghad gave me that ugly gaze: shfeech entay elyoum??

Me: mafeeny wala shay yalla goumay khanakel

Raghad: rou7ay 6elbeelly lemon freeze ou ta3alay nakel hny

Me: yasalaam!! Fechaay khalaaass lawa3ty chabda bel khaaz!!

Raghad: waaay shfech shfeech entay elyoum!!

Elgheeera elgheeera fattekhatny!!! Yarab ansaah!!!

Me: mafeeeny shaayy mafeeny shay gathba 3alay men e9eb7 shfeech entay elly shfeechhh mjabla 

erayyal chenna maku ghaira!!

Raghad: ashouf ba3th enas egharouuun

La lazem ma aghaar lazem a9eer qaweyya ou ansah ya7alat elnesyaan elly mu eb emte7an bs ..

Me: la shaku khala9 ana barou7 akel ou lama akhales ayeblech freezech

Raghad: 7abebty thankyou

Me: by the way the starbucks kelyoum eyeboun lemon freeze wa7ed 7agech la’anna atwaqa3 entay 

elwa7eeda bel kuleyya teshrebena!

Raghad: hahaaha 3alai bel 3afya sh7arrech entay?

Me: mu 7arni shay bs eshtery men eljam3eyya ya3ni

Raghad: cham tabeen? 750? Hach

Me: chab bs chab

I left her and went to starbucks ..

I ordered my usual order .. I ate it then I went back to her ..

El circle kan ZA7MAA!!! Kan elwath3 shwayya .. lawsama7tay bamer .. shwayya please .. ,etc.

Me: shwayya luw sama7t

Suddenly I felt that the world stopped ..

He was standing in front of me and staring on me without saying a word!

I felt a dryness in my throat ..

Seconds of a silent staring then I walked away ..

My body walked away but me my soul and heart were staring on rakan there ..

Its hard!! Its really hard! Even if it is not your lover even if its a friend or a pet or anything you used to 

see and talked to everyday and suddenly they are nothing between you both!! Exchanging gazes and 

that’s it! Ahh God please help me!

I went to raghad ..

Raghad sadly: ra7

El7emdellah ..

At 3:30 pm I went back home ..

I arrived around 4:00 pm ..

Fouza: kashkaaashh

Me: ahlaan

I gave her a kiss and went to my room , changed my clothes and went down stairs ..

I sit in the living room ..

Mom: ha ma tabeen ghada?

Me: laa metrayga met’akher

Mom: 3ayal khal arou7 a36ee elkhadam 7araam

7essa: gamoushh

Me: na3am

7essa: ma tgouleelly sh7agga refathtay elrayyal? Ma7aala t7ebeena wel 7ala 7ala

KHARAA ZAIN!!! MINU RFETHAA MINUU!!

Wait al7een ohwa ou ga9 3aala ekhta bala3naha! Bs 7essa shdarraha!!

Me wonderingly: minu gallech refathta?

7essa: gamoush 3an leste3baa6 tara omy galatly enech ma tabeena

My mom came back to the living room ..

Mom: minu 3an weld el*******?

7essa: eeh

Mom EB KEL BUROUD: haw ee ma tabee gamousha

Me nervously: SHINUUUUU??????????????

Mom: shfeech mu entay gayla hathak elyoum enna mabe ou mabe atzawejah ou getlech khal eyon bs 

3an elfashla? 3ad ana men bacher dagait ou getlehum ma 7a9al ne9eeb bena’an 3ala raghbetech

K I L L  M E  N O W !!!!