I froze in my place ..
Am I dreaming or something??
Please wake me up! Some one slap my face please!!!
Ok ok lets back to the reality .. I am not dreaming but my mom MUST be kidding!!
I was shocked more than anytime before ..
Me: yumma min 9ijech???
Mom: haw ee shfeech chenech met7asfa?
CHENNYYY??? My trears wainkum? ta3alaaw I need to cry!!!!!!
Me: yumma al7een shasawwwiii!!!!
OMY YALLAHA BUROUUUDDD!! Luww ma ehya omy chan ga6a3t’haaa!!!!!
7essa: yumma gamousha tabeh wentay na7ashteee
Mom: tawha etekallam wella ehya ma tabee madri shelly khallaha eta7assaf, ethaher enech daraitay enna
baizata wayed? Ou enna wathefta mawjouda? Ou obo ma36eh arth belyarmouk?
Eee eee 7asfeeny akthaar eee ba3ad kamlaay a6rebeeny!!!
Mom: la ya mama la tdeshen 3ala 6uma3 ow3y tfakreen chethy ou hal ashya’ kelha mu muhema e7na
negdar nlabeha lech aham shay el akhlaaq
Me: Yuma 7ayateee entay ana kel hal ashya’ elly gelteha tawni a3arefha menech!! Ou ma t’hemnyy!! Bs
ana lama eb la7that qathab agoulech mabe atzawaj ma takhthen kalamy jad ou seeda tgoulellehum ma
nabe se’leeny ana 9a7bat eshan yemkin akoun ghayyart rayye ya3ni!!
Mom: walla youm geltelly kentay sh7lailech la qathab wala shay ou youm enech ghayyarty rayech laish
ma yeetay ou gelteelly ha?
Me: hagaitech betshawreny marra thanya aw 3alaqal ta36eni khabar tara mamdahum yaw elyoum men
bacher entay gaylatlehum!! Chenna ezawaj hatha mu eb kha6rech!
Mom: ba3ad laish enna6erhum 3ala mameesh madam la’ engolehum ou khala9na
7essa: ashoufech tadreen enna omy dagat 3alaihum 3ala 6oul ou rfethat’hum! Laish tetghaibain?
Mom: ee entay shdarrach minu galech?
Me: 7essa galatly
Yarab 7essa ma tefthaa7!!
Me: bs bs bs bedaina netghaiba 3ad! bekhte9ar ana abee hatha elrayyal shlouunn??
Mom: rou7ay lebsy beshtech ou emshy nakh6eba shrayech?
7essa laughed hardly ..
Me nervously: abaaih Yuma ma9adgech!!! Shhal buroud elly yalech???
Mom: entay elly shhal buroud? Esalfa mar 3alaiha 7ol eshahar tawech taf6eneen?
Me: agoulech tawni adryy!!
Mom: luw ana 7aree9aa ou 9ij abee arou7 as’al omy at’akkad menha mu sakta ou khamra 3ala 3umri
7essa: Ou laish tabeena faj’a? Qen3eena?
Akhhh 3ala 7essaa!! I hate her tnaarfez!!
Me: erte7t la!!
Mom: 7abeebty gaamousha qaddar allah wa ma sha’a fa3al e7na ma negdar ndeg 3alaihum ngoulehum
ena e7na rathen feekum 3ugub ma refathnakum ham mu 3adla!
I felt that everything between me and Rakan is over!!
I felt sorry on me!
It wasn’t my fault!!!
I went to my room with a sadness on my face ..
I laid on my bed and started to think how to fix the things!
Its really hard to talk to Rakan and pleading him to engage me again!
Rakan must decide to engage me again his self and I know that’s impossible!!
He still don’t know that I didn’t refuse him and it was all misunderstanding between me and my mom!!
I can call him and explained it for him yes I can!
No I cant!! How can I call him again after all the nonsense I said to him yesterday!! No way!! He’d
never hear me!
Akhh I need a miracle!! I give up!!!
I went to manoura’s room “the savior” ..
She felt my sadness ..
I told her everything while crying hardly..
Mnera: entay haddaayy kel shay yet9alla7 ou rakan shakla metfahhem ou san3
Me: tabeeny arou7 ou agoulaa??
Mnera: eee shfeeha!
Me: men 9ijjech? Malyy waaayh magdaar fashla!
Mnera: el7aya ya maama mara7 efeedech la khasarty erayyal!!
Me: laaa ensshallaahh!! Alla la ygoul
Mnera: you are losing him tara!!!
Me: manoura la teg3eden tkhar3eeny entay ba3ad!!! Sa3deny please awal marra at3allag eb shakh9
chethy jad abeeh!!
Mnera: deggy 3alaih al7een
Me: 9a3ba manouraa!!!
Mnera: men kalamech fahamt enna fraga a93ab 9a7?
I left her and went to my room, I took my mobile and call him immediately ..
He picked it up ..
My heart started to beat so fast!
Rakan: hala gmasha!
He is saying my name I’m happy!!!
Me: rakan ana ma refathtek!
Me: omy fahma elmawthou3 ghala6 wallaahh ana abeeek ana magdar a3eesh bedounek rakan ana
fegadtek fegadtek 7ail ..
Rakan: bs bs la ttheleen 3umrech akthar!
Me: ma asammeeha mathala rakan kanat ayyam tef9elna 3an ezawaj tadri shinu ayyam kan bagy ayyam
Rakan: kalam omech shsalfeta?? Elly afhema menna wa7ed men athnain ya ehya mu rathya feny aw
entay mu rathya feny
Me: mustaaa7eel! Ana ma y7aselly nafsek rakan!!!
I was wishing to say a7ebbeek weeedddyyy!!!
Rakan: asme3ech explain it!
Me: ana getlaha mabeek bs ghayyart rayee ou ehya 7asbalha ana still mabeek ou omy tesarra3at wayed!!
Rakan: geltellaha ya3ni!!
Oh no no no no please walla I didn’t mean it ma gelt mabeek 3ashan mabeek laa 3ashan else7t raghadd
wallahh a7ebha bs al7een ana a7ebek more than anyone akhh shagoulla shagharred!!!
Me: wallaah its hard to explain it wallah bs be sure ena ana ma getlaha mabeek la’anna 9ij mabeek
wallah ana men gabel la a3arfek abeek wallaa wallaaa
Rakan: bs gmasha ma weddy e3terafat akthar kafy ga3da e6ee7en men 3ainy tarach wana elly 7asbaly
7abaiteny leshakh9y 6ala3tay men gabel la t3arfen shakh9y 7abatny? 3ashan shakly ou sayarty? Wala
3aib 9edamteny la tkamlen mabe an9edem zyada faman allah
He closed it!
My face was straight face!! I didn’t love you because of your look or car no I am not Raghad’s kind!!! I
loved you because of your high morals and when I knew you I loved you because of you!!!!
Why the things are getting more complicated why!!
I went to my mom ..
I started to cry ..
Me: Yuma kellaa mennechh
Mom: entay lail7een? Khalas 7abebty eyeech elly a7san menna enshallah!
Me: maku a7san menna 9adgeeny makuu!!
Mom: ya bnaytee elly ma yabena ma nabee 9a7 wella la’?
Me: al7een ohwa 9ar ma yabena?? Mahu entay elly refathtee!
Mom: elrayyal la bagha wa7da 9ij ma yey’as men awal marra ya6lebha marrat lain tertha feeh!
My mom wasn’t understanding!! And I really don’t know how to explain!!
I left her and headed to my room ..
Me: mafeny shay!
Shahad: kel hal dmou3 ou mafech shay?
Me: eee!! Bala legafa haa
Shahad: entay shhanafseya elly nazla 3alaich?
I ignored her sentence and entered my room ..
And now what to do?
I should be happy and carry on my life!! I should forget him! Forever!!
Hahahaa NO WAY!!! The idea of forgetting him is IMPOSSIBLE!!
Ohh god please help me!!!
I prayed for Allah with a big hope that Allah will bless me sooner or later ..
Al7amdellah 3ala kel 7al!
The days are passing while I am trying to forget him ..
Everytime I see him in the college I feel confused ..
I deleted his number, his messages and the audio he sent me , but the hardest thing that I couldn’t deleted
him!!! I couldn’t deleted him from my heart, I couldn’t deleted him from my mind too! But The time
would wholly deleted him ..
Its Saturday ..
I woke up, changed my clothes and went down stairs ..
There was no body ..
I was home alone!
Everyone was busy with eid ..
Shosho as I know didn’t buy a dress yet , manoura was searching for a shoes to buy and my father was
in my grandma house!
I was finishing from all the eid’s stuffs because I was planning to forget someone so I spent my time in
shopping instead of thinking of him ..
Hmm it was really boring to stay at home alone!!
I decided to go to sultan center to buy a red velvet ingredients and prepare it my self at home ..
When I back home I saw manoura ..
Me: oh yeetay?
Mnera: entay wain kentay?
Me: re7t markaz sel6an sharait aghrath el red velvet basaweha 7g el3eed
Mnera: ahh ya7lailech
Me: sharaitay jouty?
Mnera: akheran eeh!!
Me: zain ashwaaa
Mnera: chenna omy ou shoush 6awelaw?
Mama and shosho just entered the house
Me and manoura: 3umerkum 6eweel
Manera: tawny agoulaha 6awelaw
Mom: ba3ad ma t3arfoun shosho 6wala ma ya3jebha shay
Mnera: aham shay sharaitaw?
Me: Yuma ana enshallah basawi red velvet 7g bacher
Mom: khoush 3ayal sawway rahy khanwazze3
Me: eee ee basawy al7een 3ashan enwaz3a 3alail
I went to the kitchen to prepare it while they were talking about which saloon they will go ..
At 6:30 my red velvet has done! It smell was delicious yummiii ..
Mom: allah allah shayyen 3adel
Mom: yallah khangassem
Shahad: allaah eree7a wa9la lai el9ala bathoooug
Me: teslam eedy
Mom: 9ebray bengasma la khalla9na thougy
Shahad: akhaf mu 7elu khal athouuug
Me: na3aam na3aam
Shahad: la walla atghashmar 7etta shakla khayaaal
Mom: eee smella 3alaich gamousha ye6la3 menech
Shahad: etha zad ba36y janouuun
My heart throbbed fast ..
Mom: eee testahel janoya ndez lehum
Shahad: 3adi 7etta luw one piece 7ag’ha etha ma ykaffee
Me: la 3aib etha ma kaffa nsawellehum
Shahad smiled: okk
After we sent the cupcake to Rakan’s house I was expecting a message from his number but he didn’t
send me anything!
Actually he shouldn’t send me because there is nothing between us!
Bel3eed my hair was wavy as usual and I wore my azra lace print dress from BCBG Maxazria with my
classic Valentino ballerina ..
We went to our two grandma’s houses and my mom’s and dad’s ants and uncles
Then we went back to my mom’s mom “my grandma” house ..
We stayed there until night ..
The second day of eid ..
From the minute I wake up until 3:00 pm ou shosho t7en:
shahad: wadeny chocolateness
Me: khal manoura twadech maly khelg
Shahad: mu rathya
Me: ou ana ba3ad mu rathya
Me: obouy khal ewadeech
Shahad: shasawi ma3a obouy abe a7ad asolif ma3ah
Me: weyya minu?
Shahad: shdarrany 3anha 6al3eeenyyy
Me: mabe! Khalas
Shahad: please walla gamoush entay a6yab wa7da fehum tukfain wadenyy
Me: efff badlaay
Shahad: ou ba6ale3 lech hdouuum
Me smiled: thankyou
Shahad 6ala3atly badlat el3eed!!
Me: shahad ya shaguuul!!
Me: be6al3eely ou 7altech 7ala akher shay badlat ams!!
Shahad: 3adi kho mu ray7en bait yadety e7na! ba3dain hathy a7la shay 3endech!!
Me: barra barra ana elghal6ana elly me3tamda 3aalaich!
Shwayya she convince me ou esara7a mekan ley khelg fa my look was typical yesterday’s look!
Me: yallaaahh!! Wella many mwadetech!!
I know thalait’ha wayed bs tmounn!!
We went to chocolateness ..
When I entered the café I saw him!!! Rakan was there!!
Me: shoush khanrou7 mukan thany za7ma hny!
Shahad: mabee!!! Sadgeenyy mara7 ared elbait ella makla chocolateness
Me: ok deshay 6elbay take away ou ana an6erech bara
Shahad: elly abe akla lazem hny mayseer take away!!
Me nervously: DE3LA!! Agoulech za7ma wain neg3ad ya3ny!!!
Shahad: ka aku 6awla hnaak!!!
Shahad: kho yamna banat ou 9bay brou7a mara7 yet7arash fech 9adgeny
Me: ma tefhemeen
Shahad: ohh okho janouuun!! Laykoun bainech ou baina shay ou khayfa esalem 3alaich jedamy haa??
Me: shakuuuu! Laaa 7adda laa!!
Shahad: baynelly enna 9ij la ou emshay neg3ad wenty sakta!!
Me: akher marra a6al3ech!! Emshy jeddamyy!!
We sit on the table ..
Once we sit Rakan came to me ..
I was surprised and my heart skipped a beat!!
Me wonderingly: hala
He smiled ..