Flashbacks .. Part37

I took a bottle of water and poured it on his face ..

But ..

He didn’t move ..

I stared on him for seconds ..

My throat became drier than ever ..

My heart made a small “samra” ..

I calmed down ..

Me: ya3gouub?

Me: ya3goubi enta gelt mara7 tkhalleny brou7y

Me: ya3goub gouuum 3an leste3ba6

Me: ya3goub allah ykhalleek la tkhallenyy

Me: ya3gouub? Ana ma sheba3t mennek ent sheba3t?

Me: allah ykhallek red aw ta7arrak ayshay please

I shook his body ..

Me: ya3gouuubb

Me: YA3GOUUB LAA PLEASE LAAAA

I hugged him ..

Me: ya3goubbbb .. 7abeeeeebyyy

Me: ana mayaaarrek red 3alay allah ykhalleeeekk

There was a river of tears on my cheeks ..

Me: ya3gouuuuub fechhh 3youuuunekkk

Me: don’t leave me alooone

….

I was sitting in Ya3goub’s house ..

Covering my body with 3abaya ..

My face was shocked ..

“ba3ad 3umri taramelat sghera”

“ya 7ayate hathy murt elmar7oum sghayrounaa”

“3atham allah ajrech 7abeebty”

I couldn’t even say “ajerna wajrech” ..

I was just nodding ..

My face was paled and filled with tears ..

Ya3goub’s mom was crying continuously ..

He’s her smallest son ..

Wasmiya came and hugged me tight ..

She was crying her heart out ..

Wasmiya: ma3alaaaih 7ayatee sadgeeny elmout aryaa7 laaa! Ed3eeella me7taj du3a2ech

It was more like a dream ..

I have that feeling that he’ll come back ..

I know him!! Ma yhoun 3alaih ekhalleny bhl 7alaa ..

Everyone in 3aza hugged me ma3ana I don’t know all of them ..

I was wearing the ring he gave me ..

I will never remove it even if its not comfortable ..

I was staring on the ring every now and then remembering Ya3goub’s pretty face ..

Remembering the unforgettable moment when he told me “terthain feeny?” ..

Kan chennna yadri ena berou7 ..

His last hug was the warmest ..

His words “dery balech 3ala nafsech” ..

He was AWESOME!!

3umra ma thayagny 3umra ma tharny 3umra ma nazzal dam3a men 3ainy ..

Yaaaaa rab tthaabta 3end esu’al ou taghfer laaa .. yaaaa rab etkoun eljanna mathwah ..

….

Naser: mayara

Me: hmm

Naser: elshabab barra bedeshoun e3azounech

Me: 7ayyahum allah

….: alsalamu 3alaikum

Shamlan: 3atham allah ajrech yuba

A tear drop down my cheeks ..

I nodded ..

Shamlan: 9adgeeny ra7 3end elra7man elra7eem aku ar7am? Goule el7emdella ou ed3eellah

I nodded ..

I couldn’t understand the fact that he left me till forever ..

Othman: 3atham alla ajrech mayar ou enshallah bel janna bethn allah

Me: yaraab

Othman: me7taj da3watech

I nodded ..

3aboud: elbega b7ayatech la ytheeg khelgech tukfain

I nodded ..

Omar: 3atham allah ajrech

His eyes were gleaming from tears ..

Omar: ou tethakkeray enna ma3a el3usry yusra ya3ni ge3day ou ne6ray elyuser elly bya36echeya rabbe

I nodded ..

Shamlan: yalah e7na nkhalleeech

….: ma3asalama

They left our house ..

I went to my room ..

I took my wedding album ..

Me and HANDSOM ya3goub on the kosha ..

Then a photo of both of us and he was hugging me ..

Then the best photo in the whole album, me and him inside the sea in our wedding clothes ..

We were having fun and laughing ..

My tears were falling continuously ..

I want him ..

No ..

Actually I NEED him ..

He broke through my life and made it waaaaayy happier ..

I need to be happy ..

I am so depressed ..

Why do I have to lose my babies ..

I lost Fahad at the beginning and now ya3goub ..

WHY!!!!

Life is not fair ..

….

I need to smell a fresh air ..

I changed my clothes into my jogging pants and went out ..

I was walking in our neighborhood until I reached Almamsha ..

I jogged for half an hour then I sat on the bench ..

And all of a sudden ..

Omar: alsalamu 3alaikum

I smiled: ahlan

Omar: tesme3een?

Me: yallah

He gave me a headset ..

Ya 3anoud almaha ya qemmeten fel jamal ..

Menk men ma7th 9edfa jar7 galbe yesseel ..

Fee bedayat 9eba7en ma3a nehayat zewal ..

Wagefen 3an hajeer eshams ta7t eltheleel ..

Nathreten webtesama bs wain elwe9al ..

Mawqefy ma sema7ly ya 3elajy el3aleel ..

Webta3adna ou thany 3ugb hatha MU7AL ..

Shoufetek watesa’al wain ou wain edaleel ..

Lain dar elzeman wa9ba7 gereb elkhayal ..

Jab 9EDFA tegha6y sabe3 elmustaaa7eel ..

Sa3adatny thuroufy wefta7atly majal ..

NAFS THAK ELMAKAN BROYETEK YA JAMEEL ..

….

Me: 3umar?

Omar: hmm?

Me: I miss him

Omar stared on me for seconds ..

Omar: yalaitny ana elmayyet bedala

Me: la allah y6awel b3umrek

Omar: mayar entay wayed taghayartay

Me: adry! He was my life ou I lost my life shettewaqa3 menny?

Omar: luw kan 3ayesh ma kan yabe eshoufech bhal 7ala

Me: adry bs magdar walla magdar

My eyes started to tear ..

He gave me tissues ..

I wiped my tears ..

Omar: 7e6y eb balech ena yath’haab eljameel leya’ty alajmal

Me: ajmal men ya3goub haha matwaqa3

Omar: khalle amalech balla kbeer ou hatha bala2 9ebry 3aalaih ou la yubtala ella elmu2men

I nodded ..

Omar: 7awlay tensain ou 3eeshy 7ayatech redday mayar elly kelha 7ayat ou the7ek ou she6ana lai meta bet3eeshen 3ala thekra ensan musta7eel yerja3

Me: LA TFAWEL

Omar stared on me surprisingly ..

His eyes started to gleam from tears ..

Me: astaghfer allah

I stood up and walked to our house ..

I couldn’t concentrate in my way ..

BEEEEEP BEEEP

Me: effff de3mouny be6aggag zaaain!!

Omar ran toward me ..

He was breathing hardly ..

He grabbed my hand forcefully and walked me home ..

Omar: SHOUFAY 6EREEEJECH!!

Me: ok

I entered our house ..

Went to my room ..

Laid on my bed ..

Grabbed my blackberry ..

Omar Al****:

Mayar

Mayar .. gheyyabek 3anni ba3tharny:

Na3am

 ..................

This post made me cry .

i know its too sad .

but it was really hard to write it.

it took me hours.

so please understand.

its just a story so ma nekhsarshy ba3zeena.